Realisations

By Abarna N

Staring at the night sky

As the wind blows by

Thinking about the things that had gone out of my hold

The night felt so cold

A crazy smile appears on my face

Cause I am pretending on the surface

Broken with tumult on inside

Smiling with peace on outside

Suddenly my younger version came to my mind

Asking me to take the very next step I can find

I felt confused as I stood at the crossroads , on which path to go

Closing my eyes tight , I let my heart guide me where to go

When I opened my eyes , I saw my younger version standing there

Smiling at me with open arms ,I felt home there

Letting out all my pent up emotions through tears

Hugging so tight , cause what if she disappears

My younger version patted me back with a smile

Wiping my tears , she told me how far I reached further in miles

Then I realized I too had a version of me

When she was carefree

When she was not judged , you see

When she cherished every small things and wonders

When she held her parents hand with her pinky fingers

When she ran and fell , but got up again and ran for a candy

And when did all gone wrong , I don’t know

Maybe I just don’t want to know

Taking a deep sigh , I walked further , my first tests , my first classes

My first hobby, my first toy, my first everything

All that matters to me more than something

The low marks , the high marks

The fears , the tears

The smiles , the jokes

The parks , the buildings that carried my stories

The home where I can return to, which welcomed me in with open arms

My father’s rules and guidance , my mom’s care

My sibling’s achievements and support , making my world really fair .

When I thought I was grown

I saw myself hiding my emotions

Filtering my words before they were blown

Pretending to be happy became one of my notions

As I am carrying this for a decade

I am tired of this facade

All I can ask to myself is to set me free

Give me back my wings to fly free

The earth is so big , I can fly further

And in that moment I know , maybe I can try further

All it takes is one step to take , to make it happen

Even though it might become tough , it was already chosen

Slowly turning back I saw my younger version running back to me

Smiling and patting her , started withdrawing from her hold to walk ahead of me

To whatever that will become of me.

By Abarna N