Prophetic Perfect

By Aarohi Rao

someone told you your anxiety was god’s way of watching out for you.

of keeping you alert and making sure you were always en garde.

you don’t think your anxiety is a gift from god.

a curse, perhaps. or a warning.

something bad will happen.

you don’t know when, but you know it will.

you don’t want to be cassandra,

(the one whose prophecies no one believes, no matter how true they are.)

you don’t want to be the one who cries wolf.

but you will. because the anxiety is ever-present.

something bad will happen.

it feels like something bad is always happening.

you are a (false) prophet.

a boy crying wolf. or cassandra with the truth.

you exist at the intersection between present and future.

everything is a sign to you.

a lie is just a truth that has not happened yet.

you are dichotomy personified.

is the future written. is this fate.

or malleable, like the silver in the corner of your dreams.

your dreams have a scary way of coming true.

you close your eyes and see yourself crying.

your eyes open and a single tear rolls down your face.

is this life. you hope not.

you close your eyes and see a shadow of happiness.

a mirage, perhaps. still, you hope again.

your eyes open, hesitantly.

you need someone to believe in.

to give your heart to.

(and you don’t trust me enough for it to be me.

but you want to have faith. to believe.

to give in to your devotion.

to taste the salt of my tears and know i am true.

you don’t know if i’ll be a bad memory

or the love of your life. you want to find out.)

By Aarohi Rao