Pray For Love

By Preeti Kaur Bharj

I am a forgettable part of an ignorant world but I lived more than two decades now to know the agony and its meaning. I got accustomed to silent torment, you know, throughout my life. Physical, mental, and emotional, suffered every type. Trust me I have lived long enough to know the worst kind, the ache of a slowing heart yet beating fast, the ache of losing the meaning of happiness one has been taught through love.

I grew up too fast you know, drowning in the sea of despair. I grew numb, grew unfazed, with too many blades on my back, and prayed for them to be spared. I am a masterpiece of a kind, a broken heart set on a spree breaking hearts I didn't care. I was a haunted ghost haunting men. Yet I stopped. Broken-hearted again by the same forgetful bent.

I moved on, faced the reality of life fate bestowed on me and I moved on. Days and weeks and months passed and I moved on. Finally started being content with life and I am.

You knew it all, you read my journal, knew my journey, I was an open book to you, and you knew I showed off as a powerhouse, deep down I was scared and still am. Petrified of trusting and being tricked again. You perceived it all, yet you stayed and somehow I started being happy again.

Everything's going so well and great but why is it am I shivering and afraid? Why I am somehow pushing myself to the edge, terrified of that unfortunate ache? As if it is waiting around the corner, jump on me as I turn, why am I looking for the devil's smirk on your angelic face? I don't know and I don't want to know but you do and yet you don't say and show what we are and what we may, for trust me I don't admit it out loud but I...... I hope this time love doesn't fade, I hope it's not a mistake...

By Preeti Kaur Bharj