Pedestal

By Samiksha

I don’t want to be important to anyone

Hold no stake in their lives

Have no influence in their lives 

Have no responsibility of their existence

Because I am tired 

Tired of being someone’s thread between them and their sanity

To be someone’s silver lining in their dark clouds

To be the carpet they step on before they enter their door of happiness

To be someone’s friend before they find their best friend 

To be someone’s rock until they find their foot

Not because I don't want to be all of them, but because I cannot

Because my pain has started to leak out of my soul, show onto my face a little bit

The monsters of my mind have managed to make me smile a little less

The same smile I would give to tell everything is alright, while the monsters were chewing up my heart, bit by bit

My eyes have finally managed to lose their spark

And my dreams have finally met their reality

The face of fine has wrinkles now

My dark circles look like kohl

My anxiously chewed up, bleeding lips have finally become the colour of blood

I am afraid

Because if I keep going on,

Keep being someone’s line, rope, carpet, friend, rock

The farce of happiness and serenity will fade

The skin of facade will get wrinkles

And the monsters of my mind will leak and leach onto them too

And maybe my monotony will leak on their soul too 

But before that happens

I don't want to be important to anyone. 

By Samiksha