"Pedantism"

By Alyssa Johnson

I’ve sat in bathtubs and showers and on kitchen floors

I’ve watched the inside of closet doors,

and the underside of mattresses,

and the walls of wooden desks

I try rubber bands and pinching myself and bracelets

I long to become Sylvia Plath and Robin Williams

I want to be an icon for the artists

a muse under false pretenses

I want to breath in candlelight

and peel oranges without feeling gross

I don’t know how to believe in screaming anymore

I want to be shouted at when someone is angry

I’m losing my nervous system and it seeks to consume

I suppose nakedness

By Alyssa Johnson