Our Last Meet?

By Tapasya

A bubbly, cheerful, humble and submissive girl. Always wanting good for everyone. Trying to make everyone contented even if it is breaking her down. She was Siya, just an ideal type girl anyone would dream of. A man was lucky enough to get her but he was not less than a prince charming too, his name was Darsh. They were just a match made in heaven.

One fine summer night, Siya was chilling in her bedroom alone. Unexpectedly she got a phone call which definitely didn’t failed to give her butterflies ࣃࣂࣁࣀࢿ. It was Darsh’s call, but it also raised a slight fear in her. She questioned herself, maybe it’s the time? Darsh started talking on the other side of the line, “We need to meet. Now!”. Without saying anything she disconnected the call. Only she knew how many emotions ran into her soul. The fear of losing someone she loved wholeheartedly. She was an orphan, so, she didn’t experience what being loved by someone felt like. He only gave her that warmth.

She knew where to meet. The place they met for the first time, the city beach ጟጠጡጢጣጤ. She wore the same white beachy dress ྽྾ she wore when they met for the first time. She went towards the beach, saying to herself on repeat that everything is going to be alright. When she knew nothing can be changed now. She finally reached her destination. No one was there expect for the man that she loved more than her own damn life. She removed her flats to feel the cool sand. Darsh also wore the same red satin shirt he wore for the first time when they met.

She slowly started taking her steps towards him. He finally noticed her. The moon light falling on Siya’s face was making her more attractive than she already was. She shivered a bit when the cool breeze touched her milky skin. They both sat in close proximity facing the sea. Darsh said “let’s break up.”

Siya looked at him with her doe eyes which melted his heart. He thought that he was prepared enough to not let his emotions out Infront of her, to not break down but he failed miserably. He further stated, “I failed to protect our relationship, my parents fixed my marriage with Anamika. I swear, I tried a lot…”. She spoke with a heartbroken smile without letting him complete his sentence, “Because I am an orphan? Because I couldn’t match my standards with your family?”. Darsh couldn’t

find any words for the reply. Siya spoke again, “Anyways, don’t blame yourself because I knew, I knew from the binging that you won’t be mine. I was a fool to not let you go earlier.”. He said “I’m sorry……I love you!”.

The anticipation built up in his hopeful eyes. He waited, waited for a couple second which turned into minutes, why isn’t she saying anything, he wondered. Then he noticed her eyes started to fill up with tears, her bottom lip quivering silently. She finally said, “I loved you……Now I don’t have the right to say I love you to you again as someone is already there who took my place now and maybe in your heart later”. Now she finally let her tears flow down without caring for anything.

He kissed her passionately. Their tears came alongside with the kiss which now tasted salty. Then they attached their foreheads and closed their eyes just to feel each other. They separated. Darsh said “It’s my time to leave. Goodbye love”. He started walking away. He heard Siya crying loudly, he didn’t looked back because he knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself. Siya stayed at the beach shedding tears all night long, mumbling to herself, doubting herself. Now she just wanted a shoulder to cry on, a person to tell her that everything is going to be alright, a person to tell her that they are fools, they lost a Dimond while searching for a stone but her fate was not on her side.

She went back to her home, which she felt was not a home but four walls with some furniture filled in. She wasn’t feeling herself. The next day Siya saw a young girl standing before her. Siya told her that she was hideous. Her nose was too wide, her stomach was too soft. I analyzed every inch of her body, her lips were far too thin, her legs were too fat. She began to cry. Oh, how ugly she looked when she cried. I glanced at her one last time before I stepped back from the mirror and let my insecurities win. Some days went by and her emotions weren’t stable.

She questioned God “I wanted love, I wanted someone to need me as much as I need them, I wanted someone who wants to be around me and see me smile. I wanted to be loved unconditionally for the lifetime. Was it too much to ask for?”. Some more days passed by, she wished that she didn’t loved him but she did. She said to herself that she doesn’t but she felt like she was falling deeper for him and yes, she has now herd from her

friends that “I’m too good for him.”, that “he isn’t worth my time.”, “I deserve better.” But that doesn’t help even though I pretend it does. I wish someone would truly tell me how to get rid of this emotion we like to call love.

Siya came back from her work and found a card which seemed like a wedding invitation card. She was bewildered as she didn’t knew someone close to her is getting married or she forgot? She went inside her house took a long hot bath ❌❍❎❏❐❑❒❓❔❕❖❗❘❙❚, ate dinner and sat down in the living area to read the invitation. As she opened up the envelope ✉ her eyes swell up from tears because it was written “Darsh weds Anamika”.

The night went by just as imagined. Siya decided she will go to Darsh’s wedding and meet him, maybe for the last time. Days went by. Wedding day was coming close. Social media was flooded with the marriage news as Darsh’s family was very famous and owned a company which came under top 5 in the whole country. Now it was finally the day, Siya termed it as ‘the final heartbreak”. She started getting dressed, her hair was fluffy, just like a soft kitten. Her eyes were brown but looked like honey in the sun. Her lips were as pink as rose petals. Her features were perfect. She applied small amount of makeup ࿠࿡࿢࿣, wore a pastel pink elegant dress and set her hair free, from which some of them framed her face.

She left for the wedding. The ride was silent, she didn’t thought of anything now. She finally stepped out of the car. Each step she took was increasing her heartrate. This felling was really new to her, to lose someone you planned your whole fife ahead because she didn’t had anyone to lose. A very happening place it was. Chaos everywhere. Laughers and giggles were all heard. The very next moment my eyes fell on the man of my dreams and he stayed in my dreams too, funny right? Our gaze met each other, without breaking the eye contact I passed him a smile which he didn’t returned. Guilt was visible in his eyes or maybe he wasn’t expecting me to be there.

Just then the bride entered, ethereal right? Everyone’s gaze was fixed on her including his. The laughter and giggles heard earlier were now all suppressed. Darsh was looking at Anamika without blinking, Anamika looked shyly down. Somehow, I felt

that Darsh’s gaze was full of love which once used to be for me. I didn’t expected him to move on so quickly but good for him.

My purpose was over now, to look at him in real for the last time. I wish him nothing but the best but I wanted him to feel the way I felt. I wanted him to feel his heart drop when I post a guy on my story. I wanted him to get his knees weak when he sees me ignore him at the grocery store. I would never wish anything bad for him but I want him to feel how it made me felt. All these days I realized I was too weak to let go my love. It may sound pathetic but I tried to change myself and be like Anamika so that his parents accept me and we can get together but he was now so enamored with her and forgot me in a couple of weeks.

This is when I realized, I was never the right person for him. I know that he doesn’t love me but I love him like a crazy. Now I understood the notion of love and war being the same. The festering wound that refuses to heal. I know that I am a coward but I cannot live with the feeling of being in love with someone who don’t love you back. I gave up, I ended it all. My love for Darsh will remain the same for eternity.

The moral of the story is that no matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it some stories just don’t have a happy ending.

By Tapasya