Our Inner Voice

By Ilaa Vasishtha

All of us, at some points in our lives must have had some intrusive thoughts, at least AN intrusive thought. Something saying we aren’t good enough. We’re not meant for this. We can’t do this. Everyone is better than me. And it goes on.

But have we ever wondered where these thoughts come from?

You don’t see a kid of five having such intrusive thoughts. Or even ten. These thoughts start popping up after adolescence. At the crux of adulthood and adolescence.

That sweet spot when we are transforming into such graceful, wonderful humans, the time when we are meant to be happy, so happy, is the time we actually beat ourselves the most. Which is so disappointing.

What happened? What happened in the 10-12 years? What happened to the innocent kid full of hopes and dreams who actually knew that all their dreams could come true? Where did that go? From where did that inner voice in our head come from?

It came from our parents. It came from our teachers. It came from our ‘elders’. All the elders in our lives who had their lives ‘figured out’ and wanted the same for us. All the elders who wanted the best for us, but in the meantime, conditioned us in the most dysfunctional ways possible.

We are living in a highly dysfunctional society. People aren’t taught to regulate and process their emotions healthily. People don’t know where to place their emotions. Hell, people aren’t even aware of their emotions.

We live in a society where a lot of not-so-cool-stuff is normalized. A lot of wrongdoings, a lot of extremely unhealthy habits are normalized, or sometimes even labelled as ‘cool’.

And these things have been believed in by generations before us, which includes our parents, our teachers and our elders. And these toxic, dysfunctional patterns have been repeated again and again, without questioning or reasoning them.

And these patterns have been brought down generation after generation, resulting in such dysfunctional patterns, dysfunctional systems, and finally, a dysfunctional society.

And this is where that inner voice, that inner critic in our head originates from. Since a young age, we are conditioned to strive for high standards. We are made to aim for perfection. We are made to be ‘perfect’ in everything we do. We are made to top the class. We are conditioned to give it our 100%. But the definition of 100% is so flawed and well, again, dysfunctional. We’ve been conditioned to think that for a certain external validation or reward, we should be ready to do anything they ask us to do.

Sacrificing our sleep, having unhealthy food and drinking habits, having an unhealthy lifestyle, having bad sleeping schedule is all ‘normalized’. And for what? Some temporary gratification that will serve us no purpose in the long term. That makes absolutely no sense.

This is the society we live in. And this is the root of the inner critic, that inner voice in our head. It is absolutely NOT ours. It is someone else’s.

We are not the voice in our head. We are the feeling in our heart. That deep feeling in our gut. That tingle on our skin.

We are that subtle and soft feeling that we have for a moment’s time before it’s gone and our ego kicks in. We are that feeling that makes us feel safe but is soon gone because that feeling is not up to “societal standards”.

Our inner voice is NOT the voice in our head. Our inner voice is that small, subtle feeling in our hearts, in our guts, in our souls. Our inner voice is the feeling that makes us do things that normal society wouldn’t let us do. Our inner voice is one that nudges us to go out of our comfort zones and that calls us to break barriers. Our inner voice is the one that motivates us, doesn’t let us play ‘safe’ and yet, somehow, feels safe.

Our inner voice is soothing, caring and filled with abundance of divine, pure love. Our inner voice is NOT the critic. That is our ego. That is the dysfunctional society and its conditioning.

Our inner voice is safe. It is our biggest supporter, our biggest cheerleader. Our inner voice is a believer. A believer in the Universe. A believer in US, OURSELVES. THAT is the inner voice we SHOULD be listening to.

So, let’s start connecting with that inner voice of ours. Let’s just be silent, spend alone, quality time with ourselves and connect with that divine inner voice within us – away from the chaos and disruption of this dysfunctional society and the critic. Let us feel the nudge of our deep inner voice, let us dive into the warm feelings in our hearts, the safe feeling in our guts and the deep calling in our souls that is helping us do the best we can and align deepest with our highest selves.

Let us spend time and listen to that inner voice that is our biggest supporter, motivator and believer. We deserve that immense deep love and safe feeling. And we have that inside of us. Let us connect with it and reach our truest, highest potentials – the potentials we came here to achieve and be in the first place.

By Ilaa Vasishtha