Nineteen

By Shivika Sharma

sometimes you are 19, staring at the ceiling at 2 AM,

thinking of all the places you should've been, all the times you never ran.

how 13-year-old you thought you'd be cooler, thought you'd be free,

but now you're here, and it's nothing like you thought it would be.

how you blame them for keeping you locked in a cage,

but blame yourself too for never stepping off the stage.

and now that the door is finally wide open,

why does the world feel so loud, so broken?

how adulthood stands like a shadow too near,

whispering rules, deadlines, and fear.

you're still trying to figure out fun,

but somehow it's over before it's begun.

how you fear you'll regret this year just like the rest,

but tell yourself maybe the future's still blessed.

maybe your twenties will make up for the past,

but what if you blink, and they're gone just as fast?

how you are 19, stuck in between,

too young to let go, too old to dream.

not knowing if time is slipping away,

or just waiting for you to come out and play.

By Shivika Sharma