Needles In Heart

By Sahil Baxi

I just don't get it- Should I?- I just don't understand. I just don't feel it- Should I?- All this 'love' and 'loveliness'. If this is love then better be that I simply wave past it. 'cause I don't need the temerity to act on preconditions. I tried to, really- Harder maybe?- but I tried nonetheless; To understand what goes in the minds of men and of women. It's not my forte- that's for sure- There ain't a doubt there. For love is complex, love is war, that's what they all had said. Yet I try to- 'cause I want to- But I simply don't get... Why should I need to bury myself to be taken by someone else? I've liked and loved- and perhaps back- but never has it grown. Maybe because- and more obvious than not- I felt it hadn't shown. :-: Perhaps now the change shall come, the change so needed for a while; Perhaps now the time has come for love yet forgotten; Perhaps now the world will blossom, the seeds sown for a while.

The days have passed- more to come- and yet changes seem scarce. The light is dimming at the end of the tunnel, life seems a petty race. Where am I? Where do I stand? When will my chance come? I'm nobody, just another face, in the long, long line-up. Slowly, yet quickly- but not quickly enough- I'm losing faith in all. The love, the life, the fate, the fire- they seem like a painful crawl. Life is ending, the time has come, the change is on its way. But I am going on a road that is on the other way. No remorse, no complaints, none whatsoever now. I didn't get it when I needed it; why should I expect it now?

By Sahil Baxi