Nameless

By Noorussaba Shayan

I came out of the Delhi Airport with lightning speed and took a cab .It was already 8:00 am and to reach the venue for workshop in 1 hour was next to impossible. Whose idiotic idea it was to start the workshop such early in cold chilly weather. In addition, to rub further salt into the wound, hers was the first session. I was grumbling in the cab and insisted the cab driver to be little faster,”saab ji gaddi hai hawai jahaj thodi jo uda le jaon, thand rakho pahuncha denge tussi (Its cab sir not a plane, we will reach on time just chill) “he replied. It was so cold over here but I just wanted to fly out somehow in freezing temperature and reach the venue. I stared at him but did not said anything.

I almost ran to the auditorium and grabbed a seat in back row. My favorite Speaker “Niru” was on the stage “So what’s trust. Trust is something far more than the words can define. It is a feeling; it develops slowly between people. However, kids, have you seen kids, when anyone they remotely know throws them up in air, do they fear or enjoy their height? They enjoy, because they trust the person who is holding them. They trust, the person will not let him fall down. But as adults, do we trust our colleagues, our associates?” She paused to get a reply from the audience and the chorus voice appeared “Yes, we do “. “Ok that is good to hear “. She started again “I am your colleague; I belong to this company from last 15 years. Many of you know me quite well. Do you all trust me?” “Yes” again a chorus reply came from the audience. “Then throw your mobile I will catch it “. There was silence in the room and no reactions. She again said, “Trust me I will catch it, throw your mobile “, and again complete silence. “As an adult, we do not trust easily though we are born with the characteristic of trusting each other but we have forgotten to do that. We have to learn it again. Thankyou!” and she ends her speak with these two lines. There was a big round of applause as she came down from the stage. Her sessions were actually amazing and everyone in the hall was admiring her for her content, the way she explains through examples and her interesting way of story narration.

I am also one of them and that is why insisted my supervisor to give approval for this workshop and got myself enrolled. However, I was an idiot who can make out only for 15 mins from her one-hour session. After that, it was one more 30 min session and then tea break.

“Hi, I am Ayush “I introduced myself to Niru during tea break. “I am Niru, Nirupa” She replied. “Nirupa Roy “I asked in a surprising tone, “No way and thankfully not, I am Nirupa Singh and don’t want myself to be recognized as a tragic queen “, she replied in the same quirky tone and we both laughed a loud. “I was just kidding; I know you very well. I really like your sessions and you are the only reason to attend this workshop”, I told her. “Oh, Thank you I am honored”. She replied and we return to the auditorium for further sessions. I again joined her for lunch “So you are Ayush Kulkarni , from BFSI group and you have mailed me to conduct a workshop exclusively for your group , right “She asked me . “Yes“, I replied with a smile. “Good you finally make out , I was thinking how are you not recognizing me . People don’t forget me easily once I connect with them”, I said with a pride. “Yes, of course how can I forget you, you bugged me so much for conducting exclusive workshop”, she replied sarcastically but I like her quirky way of communication. “So when are you planning to conduct it in Pune?” I enquired. “Very soon My lord, the work is in progress and we will share with you our curriculum”, she informed me with generosity. I feel ashamed of my tone and said hesitantly, “You are quite senior to me, so please don’t address me like this”. “It’s completely fine. You are our customer and customer is next to God”, she said laughingly. She was not only a good speaker but also a very interesting person and her way of talking was just amazing. The complete workshop was interesting and full of activities to drill down the concepts in our mind and heart. Niru conducted 3 sessions and two activities in which I participated eagerly. Apart from the session, we also had lunch and tea breaks together.She is very witty and I enjoyed her company completely. I was surprised to know that she used to play football in her school days and still loves to play with her kids and husband. “That’s very strange, generally girls are not very pro for sports and even if they do football is quite a rarity,” I told her during our evening walk. “Why not, at least leave the sports from gender biasing. In fact, I do not believe in any type of stereotyping “she replied. “More over boys are pro for food but very few have good culinary skills as you have, and I feel gradually people are getting rid of rigid stereotyping. However, the progress is slow but it is there. “She added. That was the beauty of our talks. We always had intelligent and thought provoking conversations. Two days just flew away and we part from each other after sharing our mobile numbers. She was in Mumbai and I was in Pune so we both were looking forward to meet again as we visited each other’s branch offices frequently.

We were in touch with each other even after returning to our branch offices, in fact, we used to have daily chats through formal/informal channels and we enjoyed communicating with each other. I love to tease her for silly things and enjoy her quirky answers in return. Our hobbies, area of interest were also quite similar giving us enough topics for conversation.

One day I was sitting with Priya (My lady love and now the fiancé ) and chat pops up, it was Niru. “Hey! How are you? “ . I am on cloud nine realizing that you miss me even on Sundays “I immediately replied with a smiley. “Ha ha ha Nothing like that, just wanted to inform you that “Queen Victoria is coming for a visit to your branch office so be prepared for the red carpet welcome “she replied. “Oh, ho Queen Victoria in our city, I am grateful. Most welcome. shikayat ka koi mauka nahi milega (Everything will be taken care of)“ I replied in the same rhythm. Finding engrossed with the Mobile Priya nudged me “What happened, so much busy with the mobile “. “Nothing, Just Nirupa Singh is coming tomorrow for a session in our office” I replied casually. “Is she conducting the session for your unit “Priya asked me. “No, not at all “I replied keeping my mobile aside. “Then why are you informed or bothered, what is the matter “she asked me raising an eyebrow. “Nothing yaar, we are just friends so she informed me, jealous! “I tried to cheer her up through teasing but failed. I know that she is quite possessive for me so I gave her my full focus and attention but that evening went for a toss. Phew! Women are difficult.

Next day after her session, we met each other over a cup of coffee. I proposed her to go for a drive and then she can leave from Pune after dinner. “Pune is nice place to visit. Then why such a short trip. hume bhi khidmat ka mauka dijiye(honour me by being my guest ) “ I asked her in my own way . “You will get many chances; this is just the first visit and not the last. Actually, kids feel very bad if I do not return home at night so I tried to have day trips as much as possible “She replied and her eyes were twinkling with the thought of her kids waiting for her. I was showing her some known places of Pune and suddenly someone came with great speed and was about to bang my car. That man triggered an instinct, so I rushed behind him. Soon I was in the full flow of race including rash driving forgetting that Niru was sitting besides me. I had not given her any chance to be ready for this and she was completely shocked. After few minutes she shouted at me “Ayush what are you doing, are you crazy “. “Don’t worry, Sit tight and enjoy“ I replied. Few more jerks and abrupt breaks, she yelled at me, “Can you please stop the car and let me get down. I do not want to be with a jerk like you “. Her eyes were red with fear. I stopped the car on one side. She was scared and did not said anything, just got down from the car and started walking on the roadside. I also followed her; after a few steps I said to her “Niru please stop I am sorry. I am confident of my driving and nothing could have happened to us trust me. I was just chasing him. I enjoy this”. I gave her the explanation but there was no reaction from her side “I am sorry, I did not wanted to scare you” I apologize again but she kept quiet. She called her cab and went back to Mumbai.

Next day I messaged her in all the channels I could have and finally she replied in one of them “It is OKAY “. There was no chatting messaging from her side and very limited replies of my chats as well so I called her to apologize again. She said, “I am not angry with you Ayush, it’s your life, your passion, I am no one to judge you. But just think once, you may be an expert driver and there is minimal chances of your accidents but because of your rash driving many people who are not confident enough or expert drivers like you might have lost their control. It may be fun for you but people might be affected from your fun. Just think once “. She actually compelled me to think not once but many times that how badly I may be affecting others. I decided to give up this type of passion, which fascinates me but is harmful for others. I informed this to Niru as well and requested her to forgive me and forget that night. She sent a big round of applause and our daily chitchats resumed.

In the weekend, I met Priya again for a long drive. However, this time I was driving very sensibly and carefully. She is with me from my college days and knows me very well. She was surprised so asked me sarcastically “I am really sitting beside you Ayush, the car is moving so smoothly and calmly “. “Yes now no more furious driving, after all I am also a responsible citizen and a responsible would be husband “. I replied her back and found her blushing on my comment. I could see happiness in her eyes and in her broad smile. “Thank God for this beautiful change in you “she said happily. “hmmm do not thank God but to Niru who convinced me to give up this stupid passion which is harmful for others and maybe someday to me as well“ I just said casually but my sentence dampened her smile. The whole evening went just like that with some quiet nods. ufffffffffffff these women!

I realized my friendship with Niru might spoil my relationship with Priya, so I thought to reduce the frequency of chitchats with her and focus more on Priya. I limited my conversations with her cautiously. She realized it so asked me about it, “Nothing just busy “I replied “ohh! Busy in the office or with Priya “, she tried to tease me but failed to get any quirky response from my side. “Both, and now the arrangements for marriage as well. So a little bit busy“, I gave her a rough reply. However, she did not seemed to be convinced but henceforth communications became formal.

Weekdays were busy with the office and weekends with Priya and the shopping and planning of Marriage, honeymoon and many more. However, I was still missing our chitchats, those light talks which proved to be fuel on hectic and critical days. Those intellectually fulfilling conversations which enriched my soul and develop me as an individual .After a gap of two months her chat pops “Again a session in your city that to be on 31 Dec. I know you must be having your New Year eve plans but have some time for me. Even I want to return back early but definitely want to meet you once”. “I am in a different office which is quite far from the previous ones so will be difficult to manage “I replied. “This is the way you behave with the guest, have you forgotten our tradition” she replied in her original flow but it is me who was not responding as usual. She came early and called me for a cup of coffee, then for lunch again for evening tea but I replied the same “office is too far, Sorry can’t make it”. She called me again at 5:30 pm, “I know you are not around and busy but I need your help. After the session, I was in the washroom and all the associates left the conference room. Maybe they were in a hurry because of New Year eve. Now I do not have access and I am stuck in the Conference hall. I do not know what to do. I know just two people here, one is you and the other one is unreachable. Please do something. I am feeling scared “, she narrated the whole situation in one breathe. I could not leave her in this critical situation and just rushed towards the conference room to get her back. She relaxed after looking at me “Thank you so much Ayush for your help and concern, I was feeling helpless and clueless what to do as you are also in the different office“. She stopped abruptly in the flow of her sentence and looked at me “you were in different office, right, and then how you can come here in exactly 5 mins “she asked me suspiciously. I did not said anything and neither could I muster the courage to look at her with this lie. I took her to the cafeteria. She again asked me “What is the matter, are you avoiding me?” Nothing like that, have you called your cab “I asked her another question in reply of her question which I don’t want to answer. She again insisted, “What is the matter Ayush “, you have to tell me otherwise I am not leaving this place”. Now I have to answer, “Actually our friendship is ruining my relationship with Priya. She gets upset whenever I talk about you, so I was just trying to find out some way“, I couldn’t say anything more than this. She was surprised and asked me “Do you feel anything for me like you feel for Priya”. “No way, I respect you, admire you, care for you but nothing more than that “I replied to her honestly. “Then what is the problem “she asked me again. “The problem is how to justify others,” I said to her with irritation in my voice. “If you can justify yourself then you can convince others as well “she replied calmly. “You know I have one colleague Poonam, she used to be my colleague but now she is my close friend. We love to work together and the assignments in which we are together never fails. In fact, she helped me even in the assignments for which she is not the part. Many a times she worked on something without her consent because I want her to be with me. We know each other’s likes and dislikes. I do not like to go to office if she is on leave; I skip tea breaks and lunch, as she is not there. So, are we having an affair? Do we need to justify anyone?” She asked me patiently.

“No, right because we both are girls. The problem arises when such type of tuning and connect is with opposite genders. We are not convinced that people can like each other, care for them admire them just like that. Why we have to give name to it, a recognition to it”, she said. Her thought was clear. “Actually Ayush, there are basically two type of people One with whom we love to talk and spent time and others with whom we are not comfortable. You can give any name to those people with whom you are comfortable. But the point is why it’s mandatory to nominate the relations with some name.” She added.

I said nothing but felt very relaxed after listening to her and ordered her favorite coffee with ice cream. Looking at the order, she smiled and I said, “I know your choice, so what’s a big deal” and we both laughed. Our quirky talks were back and I was feeling very cheerful and excited. A feeling, which was missing from quite some time. She has given me a new perception in this New Year and once again enlighten my soul with her crystal clear thoughts.

By Noorussaba Shayan