My Best Friend Who Is Now My Special Friend

By Lelaina MacDonald

i was catching up with a friend one day

and decided to tell her about 

my special friend

well

he has been my best friend for a while

but now

he is my special friend

anyways 

as soon as i said his name

and gave her an overview of the situation

she pressed the pause button

and admitted that she had a feeling this was going to happen

for several months

“he is more boyfriend than your old boyfriend ever was,”

it wasn’t until she said that

that i realized

she was right

my boyfriend barely made any time to see me

he would claim he worked too much

my guy

you work three hour shifts like four times a week

plenty of extra time

or he would say that he had to do chores

my guy

you can get your chores done when you wake up

maybe even before you go to bed

or he would say that school exhausted him

my guy

you go to school twice a week

i go every day and still manage to have a life

even on the days i knew he had time to spare

i heard excuse after excuse after excuse

but my best friend

who is now my special friend

no matter how busy he was

no matter what he was going through

no matter what was going on in his life

he made sure to spend time with me 

every 

sunday 

night 

we would get boba and ramen for dinner

we would walk around downtown

he would sing me songs in the car

i would tell him all my gossip

he would tell me all of his

my boyfriend was invited to join every single time

but he only came

once

mind you

we have been doing this every single sunday

for months and months

my boyfriend would always have an excuse as to why he couldn’t come

but my best friend

who is now my special friend

never made excuses

even if he wasn’t feeling up for hanging out

he still made ramen sundays happen

so we could see each other

in order to make me happy

he always says

i argue that my best friend 

who is now my special friend

had a busier life than my boyfriend did

and yet

he made more of an effort to spend time with me

than my own boyfriend ever did

not to mention how much more my boyfriend hung out with his friends than he did me

i would’ve thought that would’ve been even

you know

seeing your friends the same amount you see your girlfriend

or at least

around the same amount

but no

his friends were more important than i ever was

but my best friend

who is now my special friend

has never made me feel that way

he constantly checks on me

to make sure i’ve eaten something

and to make sure i’ve had water

if i haven’t had either

or both of those things

he practically begs me to get something in my system

but my boyfriend didn’t always check on me like that

every now and then maybe

but not 

every

single 

day

my best friend

who is now my special friend

has literally seen me at my worst

hair flying in every direction

eye bags as heavy as ever

sounding insanely congested

tears rolling down my face

but he has never made me feel invalidated for any of that

he always comforts and hears me

in my low lows

i’ll be honest

there were times i was super low

and my boyfriend made me feel invalidated

he also just

never fully tried to understand

or listen to me

but my best friend

who is now my special friend

always had

and

always will

By Lelaina MacDonald