My angel

By Nirsha Saravanan

This short piece of writing is intended to describe the feelings of a person who had lost someone very special to them, the narrator is deeply hurt and truly cares for other person; however, the character doesn’t seem to have a positive intention and sabotages the narrator (leaving them close to death) who yet wishes the best for “Nafiza” regardless of the cruel things that she does.

The narrator fights their mind with all emotions trying to believe things which are not true and is unable to accept the reality that lies in front of them; they describe how it feels after finding out something that they can never realise. This writing is to show people how much love a person may have on someone despite all the vicious things that they may do. However, some people only intend to destroy the “good” people, taking advantage of them, using them, and in the end separating from them, leaving the person no better than a living corpse. This also shows that nobody should ever blindly trust anyone… literally anyone; because in the end everybody is selfish in this world and people must begin to accept reality rather than living in their own imaginary mind because when it comes to a halt people would never be able to adapt and believe the reality of being betrayed….

As loud as a thunderstorm pounded my heart…my last and relentless breath had escaped from inside of me. The last drop of my sweat had dripped from the tip of my wavy hair as I lay breathless on the summit of a broken rock. All of a sudden, my eyes could only sense a sea of charcoal and nothing more; just like my deafened ear, and I had been taken… Taken far from across the sphere.

Astonished; abrasive; ambivalent, under the heart of a cavernous ocean, a dark pathway under a pulchritudinous cave which had ocean, blue ice as glamourous as crystals, but empty and pin drop silent.

Deep smell of aversion had captured my senses as an authentic tone of a female’s hymn in deep harmony, from a faraway distance, perceived me. A sudden skanky fragrance of pungent blood put into a cologne; an extremely powerful and archaic cologne. Vastly strong that the fragrance had chocked my bronchioles giving me irritation as if they has been charred and inflamed. Every action and displacement had treacherous risks of getting me banished out of gravity. I knew it wasn’t the right choice, which I had made, coming skewed in search of something that’s already been destroyed. Apprehensively, by dragging the tip of my toenails, I approached; Approached as smooth and cautiously I can, making vigilant moves as to not get caught by any of the black beasts, which were filled with blood lust, flapping their blankets above me.

It was her. I was looking into my own light brown eyes, the eyes that kept dazzling gorgeously like a star. The same glossy hair, the same blossom lips, with the same cute smirk as mine; but the figure wasn’t me. Daunt inside of me kept building a castle, a castle that had been burnt and destroyed by the fire. Fire of my imagination. My flawless angel was the figure which was reflected by my eyes. It was as unimaginable as looking at air in the middle of blank space. The fear wore me like skin and never let me go. Those rain she had poured in my eyes, stuck as titanium, punching me again and again!

I remembered those heavenly days, a decade back, when we used to wear matching dresses, comb each other’s hair, I yet remember those lovely days when my world only spun around her and I still remember… the day that it all ended, the heartbreaking moment that had shed her far apart from me. I had seen her suffer, despite that, I stood still clenching my doll bursting with tears and break apart, grasping at straws; plead and beg for aid. I still remember…as if I had seen it yesterday, the angel that wore the same clothes as me, covered with fire. The pain I had to accept was never a piece of cake. Every light seemed like an anachronism, like a nightmare that never should’ve come to my mind. The consequences of the war that brought me and Nafiza into the world; estranged, it caused me and her to cut off, and it wasn’t for time, but for life… I was never the same ever since I saw her on that particular day… Since that day, that the flames blurred our tears, my life became unimaginably filled with sorrow, without my half. I just pray and wish that it was me instead of her! Why did they take her? Why her? I should’ve gone saying that I’M Nafiza! And when, I saw her again, my eyes couldn’t stop blinking. I didn’t know whether this was real or just a dream. My angel. I was sadly happy to see her.

Substantially, in seventh heaven, I rushed rapidly towards her; before pulling myself back in fear of an unknown silhouette. My soul began to shiver as the ships that get wrecked during a sea storm. The deadly monster who’s spiky yet dry fur; with half wolverine and half human? The structure was hidden by the black. A devil, which had claws as long and sharp as a pin; munching the flesh of a bloody owl using its shark teeth; alive. No, this is not real, no, it is definitely an illusion, this mustn’t happen; but my nerves went out of my control. My hands covered my mouth in shock.

Groaning and tightly, wrapping itself around Nafiza’s soft skin, almost similar to the tentacles of a slimy octopus; It dragged her far from me, as I saw her scream and howl, lending her hand stretched as far as she could towards me. “Nafizaa!” I yelled, but I couldn’t move. It felt like hell; miserable, tangled in a vicious circle. My soul was torn into two, mired in the sea of agony. This time I wouldn’t let her go, no, not again, I mustn’t and I shall not this time. I rushed towards the direction but it had already vanished. Consequently, deep inside of me, my mind kept stabbing me, stealing myself away from me, I felt as if a part of me was gone, she is a fairy goddess, my angel! Destiny had kept separating us this far…

All those deadly creatures only intended to capture the powers that we possessed because she had survived! She had laughed at death… but she possessed, only her in this entire world, the power to survive, but I had to go, risk my life and get her’s because she deserves this… A trillion times more than I do.

Like a shot came a banging noise; the noise of a striking clock which was empathetically loud, echoed in the core of my eardrums like a gram of uranium had been struck in it. In the nick of time with shoulders lifted up as a cat with spiked hair, clenched with full pressure against my waist; I turned around. EMPTY THREAT. There were no signs of any clock anywhere around my horizon as far as my eyes could sense, dodging the darkness and yet again my Nafiza was gone…

I ran blindly. From left to right, north to south. Everywhere! Crying my throat out, But she was not anywhere. I was abandoned again; leading myself to only dead ends and I realized, escaping and saving her was going to be like a catch -22. The wind shot me back like a wrecking ball and pushed me beside a thick brick wall which had the words engraved “hell is never far from our eyes, it’s only the way of perception that reveals our vision” and beside the words layed a familiar face, but dead as if he had wanted to convey something before his last breath.

My foot had slipped by a sticky liquid on the floor and I almost fell. Helping myself up, I grabbed onto myself and without touching anything else, I got up. “Nafiza…” I cried, resting my shoulders onto the wall. Blaming myself for everything, because it will be the most painful when something happens to the only person you love in this world, and you can never forgive yourself for that. Suddenly, I smelled something like iron which came from the centre of my palm. I looked down to see a trail of a red liquid on the floor. I stood up and followed every inch of it. Perhaps the devils has been afraid to let us live. Perhaps it was all just my mind playing stupid little games with me. Perhaps all this was an imagination.

Exhaustedly, just before I wanted to fall on the floor, I heard her shout ‘HELP!’ but I had seen her give a supercilious smile. I didn’t. I hurried as quickly as I could, towards the direction and came to a shocking hault. My shoulders lifted up as high as my ears and suddenly, I felt something cold behind my back, one crawling from behind my shoulders to the pit of my stomach, other peristaltically squeezing itself on its way to the summit of my knee, another one clenching my neck from both the sides. All of a sudden they were gone. All the noises and creatures had diminished... Scorching heat and beaming lights flashing from all the angles as if I had been caught escaping a prison. For a second, they disappeared; making my ribs crave to reach my chin that were reversely stretched. I was no more under the cave…

And when I opened my eyes, which were dying of horror, out of nowhere, I felt a knife stab me on my chest and I was pulled by the gravity towards the water beneath me and I layed unconscious following the waves of the stream on the edge of a fresh blue waterfall and as loud as a thunderstorm pounded my heart…my last and relentless breath had escaped from inside of me. The last drop of my sweat had dripped from the tip of my wavy hair as I layed breathless on the summit of a broken rock. All of a sudden, my eyes could only sense a sea of charcoal and nothing more; just like my deafened ear, and I had been taken… Taken far from across the sphere.

But then I had seen the bracelet, the same bracelet as the one I saw years ago; the exact identical one on the handle of the knife, which was on my chest.

Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was hers, or maybe it was both ours’ or neither of ours but in the end it had always been US who had to survive it. It was us who had to face it and evolve into demons; demons we never wished to become, but we eventually did and look at us now? What even are we? Demons? Devils? Saboteurs? Enemies? Oh dear the real ones would laugh if we’d say that to them; at least they are much more veracious.

By Nirsha Saravanan