Mr On Time And Ms..........

By Ajay RamRaju aka Vamsi Saiteja Lakkoju

“Hello!!! Vamsi!!!”

“Yes, Dad. Tell me. Anything urgent??”

“Nothing serious. Just called to know if you are free today”

“I’m free after office hours, Dad. Any work??”

“Nothing, son. There is an old friend of mine. He came to town for a couple of days. I’m thinking about meeting him today. Thought you could drop me at his place”

I understood my dad’s intention. I’ve been hearing many things about the same issue for the last few days. At last, he spoke to me in a roundabout way.

“Does he have a daughter??, (*He was silent for a moment*) Dad!! Speak?”

“What do you mean? How is that important?”

“Just tell me. Does your friend has a daughter??”

“Yes!! Why do you want to know that?”

“Nothing, Dad. Just asking. Call me at 5 pm. I’ll pick you up”

“Ok, son!! Take care. Don’t forget”

“Ok, dad!! Bye”

I immediately called Divya. She picked up the call after a couple of rings.

“Hello!! Ms Divya”

“Hello!! Mr On time. What a surprise!! Call during office hours?? What about your “NO PERSONAL THINGS IN PROFESSIONAL LIFE” rule? What made you break that?”

“You, Ms Divya. I couldn’t concentrate on the work. I’m excited about our meeting today. Couldn’t stop me. And please don’t tell me that you forgot about the meeting”

“(*with a few giggles*) First of all, stop calling me Ms. Divya. Find a cute nickname for me with that big creative head of yours. Secondly, What is the meeting you are talking about? That meeting at 5 pm, today? That meeting at Sun Cafeteria, M.N. Nagar? That meeting we talked about, on the day before yesterday? Sorry, I have no idea about it”

“Haha!! So funny!! Enough of your sarcasm. Don’t think that you are the queen of sarcasm. Your jokes are irritating.”

“Says the guy who is smiling right now and always smiles at my jokes. Enough of this merry-go-round romance. Did you call me to remind me about the meeting?”

“Yes. Because your head RAM is slow, I called you to remind you about the meeting and get your dumbstruck brain to get ready for it”

“What did you just say????”

“Or what?? I just called you to have a nice and lovely talk with you. And you just ruined it. Like always.”

“Is that so? In that case, I forgot to tell you one thing. One of my admirers gifted a beautiful and pricey saree and told me that this saree will be stunning for me. Accidentally, I wore that today”

I was the one who gifted that saree. And she started teasing me.

“(*with a fake anger tone*) Ooh nice. Thanks to that admirer. What did your 512 MB hard disk office guys say??”

“They are too surprised to say anything. They were stunned as that admirer said. I thought of giving hugs and kisses to that admirer who gave this wonderful gift to me”

“(in an enthusiastic and shy tone) Is that true?”

“Haha. Tricked you again. Meet you at 5. Bye”

She cut the call. I smiled.

In the car, evening:

“Hello, Mr On time. I’ll……..”

“Stop.

Hello. Mr On time. I’ll be late. There is some important work at the office. I’ll be there by 5:30.

Is this the thing you are going to tell me??”

“Perfect. Ditto. Word-to-word. How do you know me so perfectly?? Are you crazy about me??? Tell me. Tell me”

“Ahahaha!!! So funny again. At least be there by 5:30. Or I am not seeing you again”

“What else will you see if not me?”

“You know. My family got some new matches for me. And there are some good girls in my office too”

“I’ll kill you then. Just wait for me at the cafe. I’ll be there soon. And don’t get killed by me today for looking at pretty girls at the cafe. Look at your beautiful phone and enjoy memes. Just memes. Ok. Bye”

“Haha. A sweet warning. Take care. Bye”

It was always fun talking to her. I cherish these talks. She fulfilled that missing aspect of my life from the day I met her.

At Divya’s house, a half year back:

Those are one of the days when I used to go to someone’s house and was judged by strangers. My match-making days. I hate this process yet couldn’t avoid it. But that day is a bit better. I saw the photo of her and had a great positive impression of her.

The same usual process happened that day. Divya serving coffee---sitting in front of everyone---people judging her while having coffee- some overreacting people giggling---priest performing some integration and calculus problems in the air--- me trying to feel shy---my father calculating her assets---my mother thinking to compare her with someone she knew or our ancestors---my elder brother thinking of a price to sell me---everything happened on that day too. Meanwhile, Divya’s father asked me to talk with her privately. That seemed like a better option to escape this gruesome environment. They sent us to a room upstairs. Meanwhile, both families are negotiating the price to sell me. Hope my brother rocks it and sells me for a high price.

We both sat there silent for a couple of moments. I started to talk.

“What is so interesting about the floor? You saw it the whole time. Of course, it was a good design. You should’ve looked at my shirt. Way better designed than your floor.”

“No. It was not about the design. It was about our maid’s work. Our floor was spotless for the first time since her first day”

We burst into laughter looking at each other.

“That was a mind-blowing first talk. By the way, I’m Vamsi.”

“Of course. No one ever started a conversation in that way. And I know that you are Vamsi. Saw you in those overpriced, much-edited DSLR photos. And I’m Divya”

“Yeah, I know. Saw you in those trying to be shy, showing off your costly dress and jewellery, cosmetics-full photos. Glad you tried to be simple today”

“Not actually. Your family was actually on time. I thought you would be late like those previous families. So, I was getting ready slowly. Meanwhile, your family walked in. Hence this look. ”

“You are looking great actually. And a small correction. My family will never be on time. I am always on time. I rushed my family to be on time today.”

“Ooh. So you are Mr On time. Why are you particular about being on time?”

“Not particularly. But it became my habit. Let’s say if I came early, everyone will be tensed, confused, and worried about the arrangements that are still in progress and I’ll be bored until the main issue starts. Or If I came late, everyone will have that disappointed look and start to judge me and my family. To avoid both, I started to be on time on every occasion. No waste and no judgements.”

“Nice theory. I’ll try to follow it”

“Please don’t. It is very hard and some people still troll me for being on time”

“Enough of these small talks. Do you have any questions about me?”

“Yes. One question. What’s your take on marriage?”

“Ummmm. There are some initial parameters like good looks, salary, family, and most important, guy’s attitude.”

“Why is it so important?”

“One day, the other parameters may go. Then it is that attitude that rebuilds those parameters”

“Nice. Go on”

“If those parameters are good enough, it will be madness after marriage. Mad love towards the partner. It is the same for the guys. They will be mad too.”

“That was an impressive answer. My question is over. Your turn.”

“One question. What do you think will be the outcomes of a love life of two understanding, good people?”

“Aaaaaa. Loads of happiness, better freedom, few concealed sad moments, great confidence and like you said, madness”

“You are impressive too”

“Thank you. Any more?”

“No more serious questions. Just silly ones. How many talks of this type have you had?”

“Ummmm. Ladies first. You tell”

“Mine was 5. Yours?”

“Mine was 7 and don’t you JUDGE”

“Already judging you”

“Haha!! So funny”

“Hahaha”

And like in the regular format, some kid called us and we went back home. We both agreed to the marriage.

At my house, a few days after seeing Divya:

Fortunately, the priest solved the integration and calculus problems after a few days and informed us that there were no auspicious times for the next six months. All were disappointed except us. She immediately texted me about meeting regularly and getting to know each other. I agreed quickly. That night Divya called me for the first time.

“Hello, Ms Divya. I think you are very happy about the news”

“Yes. Of course. Perhaps you are not. Because it is not on time”

“There is a quote about this; “There is no perfect time for marriage”

“Written by whom??”

“I don’t know. Just making up that quote.”

“I know. Listen. There are some pending silly questions from that day. I’ll ask them. Treat this as our first “Getting to know each other session”

“Yes, boss. I’ll answer them…...

In the car, evening:

Suddenly, my dad called. My thoughts came back from the past. I answered the call.

“Hello, Dad”

“Hello!! Vamsi!! Where are you? You told me to pick me up at 5. It’s already 4:30. Have you started?”

“I am on my way to the cafe. Divya and I thought to spend some time. I’ll be home soon.”

“Divya?? Why do you want to meet her?”

“What do you mean why, dad?”

“Nothing. Meeting my friend is more important than meeting her”

“Dad, stop this roundabout talk. I know something is going on. I know this is not about meeting your friend. This is another matchmaking, right?? Why do you want another match when I told you that I like Divya?”

“Yes. This is another match. I thought of telling you this in person. It’s okay. I’ll tell you. Since we had a long time for marriage, our uncle and I hired a private detective and gave him some amount to enquire about her. The report was not so good. Seems like she had a love affair at her college. That detective suspected her virginity. I know this is not what you are expecting. I know you won’t agree to other matches because you liked her. Hence, I tried to take you for other matches without your knowledge.”

“(*In a low tone*) Is that so? Then I will tell her the truth and come to you, Dad”

At the café, the same evening:

“Hi!! Mr On time. Sorry for being late. How do I look?”

She wore the saree I gifted her. She is stunning in that saree as I said.

“Great. No, better than great. Awesome. Kudos to my selection”

“Yes. Of course. Great selection by the way. Thank you. Let me order something. I’m starving”

“Wait, there is something serious I need to ask you. Something really serious. So, don’t lie and tell me the truth. I came to know that you had……”.

I could see the seriousness in her eyes. I could feel her tension.

In the car, previously:

“Is that so? Then I will tell her the truth and come to you, Dad”

“What truth?”

“That I love her and am ready to marry her”

“What??? Are you crazy?? Did you hear me? Do you understand what I just said?”

“Yes. Now listen to me, Dad. Go to that detective, pay him the same amount and enquire about….”

“No need of enquiring about her again. He is a good detective”

“Listen to me, dad. Go to that detective, pay him the same amount and enquire about me, not her”

“What??? Enquire about you?? Have you gone mad?”

“Yes. Enquire about me. Ask him how many of those so-called love affairs I had. Ask him whether I am a virgin or not. Enquire about me in the same way you did for her”

“Wait. You had affairs?? You are not a virgin?? What are you talking about?? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I won’t tell you even now. You are going to enquire and tell me, Dad. After enquiring about me, then judge her.”

“Why are you being rude to me now? Did I do anything wrong? I just want to be careful about my son’s future. Why are you angry with me?.”

“I am not angry because you enquired about her. I am angry because you haven’t enquired about me. You never asked me if I am willing to marry or if I can take care of a woman. Despite these things, you did all other things like enquiry. You didn’t ask me before enquiring. If you had asked me, I would have told you that she already told her past when she called for the first time. She even introduced me to her friends and people from her past. You know what, Dad?? Coincidentally, their family planned to do the enquiry on me. What if they rejected me, dad? Tell me….”

He stayed silent for a while. I continued.

“Don’t worry, Dad. Unlike you, they discussed this topic with her. She was the one who stopped this nonsense on me. Because she trusted me, Dad. And I trust her too. Just because she has a past, doesn’t mean she is bad. If you think she is bad, I am bad too. Trust me. She is a good person, dad. Don’t think much. Let me have a good time with her and I’ll explain everything……”

“I don’t know what to say. But I trust you, son. Have a good time and come back soon”

At the café, the same evening:

“So, don’t lie and tell me the truth. I came to know that you had bought two costly, beautiful, shining rings yesterday”

“What the..? How do you know??”

“Your sister told me. She even sent me a picture of them”

“That stupid, ugly piece of sister. I’ll kill her today. I thought of surprising you today by showing them. She has ruined it completely. I will kill her.”

“Hey!! Stop!! Because of her, I came to know about the serious problem.”

“Yaa, you were saying about something serious. What is that?”

“I bought another set of costly, beautiful, shining rings a week ago. I too thought of surprising you today. So, the real problem is what we are going to do with four rings?”

“So, you made me feel tense about this issue. Are you playing with me?”

“No, no, this is a real issue. What should we do with those four rings??”

She held my hair and said, “I thought there was something serious. And you are joking about four rings. The solution to this problem is to wear one of each other’s rings.”

I said, “That’s a great solution. Leave my hair, Ms Giggle Monster”

Her hand loosened itself. She asked, “What did you just call me??”

I freed myself and started to speak with a smile, “Ms Giggle Monster. That’s your nickname. You asked me to think of a nickname. I thought about it. You make me giggle and You are a cute monster. Hence, Ms Giggle Monster”

She held my hand and said, “I love it!!” and she smiled.

And Hence,

By Ajay RamRaju aka Vamsi Saiteja Lakkoju