Mistress

By Ryan Lam

I’m in a toxic relationship; it’s always on my mind

As long as I’m in it; inner peace I’ll never find

She is a demanding perfectionist

And an absolutely cruel sadist

I’m lost in the whirlpool of my emotions

But I’m with her despite the ominous omens

I give her my time; I give her my affection

In the end she offers me excuses and deflections

Yet she must stay next to me; clawing and clinging

Stimulating my depression and overimaginative catastrophic thinking

We have a terrible dynamic; feeding off one another’s negativity

We are quite a cesspool of vitriol, hate, and instability

Unfortunately, she is attractive and well versed in seductions

Her words are wishes for me to fulfill and seemingly sensible instructions

Every night, I’m with her in bed attempting to grant her every desire

But in the end, her impossible standards only leave me tired

I know it’s not right; I need to stop this relation

How do I stop seeing my mistress? Rumination

By Ryan Lam