Mindlessness - By Lutfiya Dadabhay

Written By: Lutfiya Dadabhay

Category: Essay

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Lutfiya Dadabhay, in her evocative essay "Mindlessness," presents a profound exploration of introspection and the quiet chaos that resides within. As part of the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, her work delves into the intricate dance between mind and environment, capturing the essence of internal struggles and the solace found in the night. Lutfiya's narrative invites readers to ponder the delicate balance of existence and identity through her poignant prose.

About the Work

"Mindlessness" immerses the reader in a reflective journey marked by vivid imagery and a deeply personal tone. The essay's themes revolve around internal conflict, the passage of time, and the comfort found in the night. Lutfiya's writing style is both raw and lyrical, painting a picture of a mind grappling with its own perceptions. Her words resonate with anyone who has ever felt out of sync with the world around them.

Mindlessness

Original Submission by Lutfiya Dadabhay

Mindlessness

Mind

less

ness

By: Lutfiya Dadabhay

Why does a single minute feel like a million hours? One perfect line of gold shines through the tiny crack between the curtains. Dust flows, golden specks glittering like an intricate labyrinth of mirrors. I hear the screaming inside. The clumsy mix of sounds stir me. It’s getting louder.

Night is the one place I feel I belong. Everything is opposite. Day is night. Sun is Moon. And I, no longer insane. I like that nothing is too bright. The Sun is harsh and cruel. The Moon is my dearest friend. The velvet darkness is the warmest blanket. It’s six in the morning.

I can’t decipher the words swimming and thrashing in my head. I can’t recognize the voices. Staring at the plain ceiling that seems to be getting closer, I stand up. I want something to eat. Exit the room with your right foot. One, two, three, four, five, six stairs. I ended on the left foot. You must start again.

Rufus, my old hairy dog, watches me with careful eyes.

My shirt hugs me too tightly. Sigh. I clutch my pockets and insert a hand into each one. Two oblong white pills rest in the fabric, the blue cotton pants. I watch as the water fills my cup. I wonder why I’m not like that. I wonder why I can’t fit into the shape or size I’m supposed to. The doctor said it’s an effervescent, but I can’t stand the fizz. Can’t stand the tiny explosion

that feels like summer drizzle on my face. The water makes them easier to tolerate. “These will control your serotonin levels.”

The Doctor lied. I know they did nothing.

No one was in the house, not even a bark from Rufus. But it had never been louder. The wall cracked as I punched it. My hand hurt. Rufus kept his watchful eyes on me. His leathery tongue licked at the water resting by his paws. I remembered breakfast.

The kettle boiled angrily as I picked out the seventh slice of bread from the loaf. I placed it into the right slit of the toaster. It would take two minutes, I set the dial at two. Steam hissed as I went to fetch the white mug. One teaspoon of sugar. Not heaped. The milk clouded the auburn water. I went to fetch the strawberry jam for my toast.

The toast jumped out hastily. It was ready.

I smelled smoke.

No.

No. No. No. No. No. You burnt it.

The faces of the bread a charcoal black. The crust a deep chestnut brown. Toast from the cafes of Hell. I couldn’t do anything right, stupid, stupid, the dial was set to four! I was so sure it said two. It said two… didn’t it? I couldn’t hear anything. My thoughts stung my tongue, they tasted like burnt honey.

The toast was ruined.

I looked in the mirror. I didn’t recognize her tangled locks and torn lips. Where had that little girl gone? Who was this monster? I was scared of her. I touched the mirror. Once. Twice. I touched myself. Once. Twice. My reflection stared at me with eyes that held a million truths. I was petrified.

Existence has always been exhausting. Particularly for those who aren’t good at living. I missed Dad. I missed Mom. I wondered why I left. Then I looked back in the mirror. Dad’s eyes. Mom’s nose. Dad’s generosity. Mom’s kindness. Dad’s recklessness, Mom’s anxiety, Dad’s rage, Mom’s fear.

I sighed again. And again.

Rufus wrestled with my slipper. Marinating it in sweat and saliva. He looked at me and smiled a goofy, lopsided smile.

Everything was finally quiet.

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar celebrates diverse voices from around the world, offering a platform for writers to share their unique perspectives through poetry, short stories, essays, and creative writing. This prestigious competition aims to foster creativity and provide a stage for emerging and established writers to showcase their talents to a global audience.

We extend our gratitude to Lutfiya Dadabhay for sharing her essay "Mindlessness" with us as part of the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Her insightful and evocative narrative offers a window into the complexities of the human mind. We appreciate Lutfiya's contribution to this global literary celebration.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.