By Zarna
Stoic, strong, responsible, logical, leader, protector, and provider—these are the adjectives conventionally used to describe men. A man is often defined by his ability to maintain composure and appear indifferent regardless of what is happening around him or inside his mind. "It is a man's world," they say, yet men also face the brutal consequences of this statement. While the world is unforgiving towards many communities, the struggles and needs of men are often overshadowed. Many men find it grueling to keep up with these almost inhuman expectations, leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms. This creates an endless loop of people suffering due to men's actions and men suffering due to society's actions.
Suicide is almost four times as common in men than in women. According to the BBC article "Why more men than women die by suicide," men are more likely to participate in self-destructive behaviors and have higher levels of suicidal ideation. According to studies, stigma plays a major role in men's unwillingness to seek mental health care. A lot of men don't like to admit they have this condition, says Michigan consultant physician Dr. Raymond Hobbs. Depression is still regarded by them as a sign of weakness. Experts point out that harmful notions of masculinity not only discourage men from getting the care they need but also accelerate the development of mental health issues in men. Men are more likely to experience stress, worry, and depression as a result of these damaging beliefs, which push them to adhere to imaginary and unachievable standards. These statistics signal the critical need to acknowledge the emotional and psychological needs of the male gender.
The stigma around mental health, especially when men are a part of the conversation, adds to the pre-existing stress making them withdraw from their emotions and loved ones alike. This continued isolation can lead to mental illnesses ranging from depression, PTSD, and anxiety to severe conditions like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and schizophrenia. From a very young age, boys are groomed to be physically strong, self-reliant, and show no signs of hurt or sadness, or else they won't be "man enough". This strengthens the thought in their young minds that asking for help is a huge sign of weakness and that they must become strong enough to make them stay unaffected. Both, social and self-ingrained stigma about expressing one's emotions stands between men trying to express themselves. Once this is ingrained in their core, they start suppressing their emotions. Many young boys getting bullied at school find it difficult to express their struggles as the label of 'not being able to take jokes' is glued up on their foreheads and it only makes the bullying worse. Harassment at workplaces is barely recognized and frowned upon because men are meant to go to work and if they are seen struggling to fulfill their biggest role, they will fall under more stressful situations. Financial and workplace aspects are not considered enough when we talk about reasons for declining mental health in men. Even severe crimes like sexual assault get dismissed and shamed by society because they are often asked to "simply enjoy it" and fall prey to predators and pedophiles. These traumatic events can lead to PTSD which can go unnoticed for long periods because our society has not made the resources accessible enough. Adding to that, males who show signs of being on the neurodivergent spectrum (autism, ADHD, OCD, learning disabilities, etc.), any physical disabilities, or the lgbtq+ community are often abused and even abandoned quite a lot because of their inability to fit into the standards set for them since before they were born. These toxic masculine ideas settle into their minds and are extremely difficult to get rid of or even change for a bit leading to them being spiteful. This immense hatred, both conscious and subconscious, makes them hateful towards their surroundings and often resort to aggression, domestic violence, misogyny, homophobia, gun violence, gender-based violence, rape culture, etc. becoming a part of their ways to cope with sexual insecurities also lead to men getting into the rape culture to prove their manhood.
Things like domestic violence become as common as breathing to them. Their inability to express vulnerability and the society's failure to provide the correct resources results in the patriarchy that we live in today. For men, mental health illnesses can have serious, frequently irreversible effects if treatment is not received. "Without it, depression can lead to serious consequences, such as trying to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, or worse — suicide," cautions Nicole Greene, deputy director of the U.S. Office on Women's Health. She draws attention to the fact that male suicide rates in the States are four times higher. Similar to this, studies conducted in India reveal markedly elevated rates of male suicide, highlighting the worldwide urgency of tackling mental health concerns in men to avert such catastrophic consequences.
Social media also contributes to their declining self-esteem because a lot of the time, boys end up comparing their financial situations or bodies with what they see on social media and compare themselves to what they're seeing, even though we have established the fact that not everything we see on the internet or even conventional media platforms is real. In addition, men's mental health problems can be further worsened by poor physical health. Stress, anxiety, and depression can all arise as a result of long-term physical ailments like diabetes, heart disease, and chronic pain. Men's physical and mental health are intertwined and can worsen one another, which emphasizes the need for integrated healthcare practices that treat men's physical and mental health.
Along with all of this, it is quite common for people to make casual comments about a man's weight or eating habits without realizing that body shaming is harmful regardless of gender. Comments like that can induce body dysmorphia and other body image issues and insecurities. Many men spend hours in the gym without adequate nourishment, strive to lose "water weight," or eat emotionally to cope with stress. These behaviors can lead to serious eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder. Unfortunately, these disorders in men are often underdiagnosed and undertreated.
Male celebrities often discuss their extreme diets and workout routines, which are typically romanticized rather than being analyzed or criticized for their damaging effects in the long run. This can encourage unrealistic body standards and unhealthy behaviors among men who look up to these public figures. Also, the overworking, burning out, and exhausting work ethic is glorified a lot of the time. However, there are some celebrities who have also expressed their struggles to keep up with life and how damaging all these things can be.
Reaching out to professionals or even recognizing these unhealthy patterns in the first place can be challenging due to the shame and stigma surrounding eating disorders. However, it is crucial never to dismiss the signs given by the body.
Men should not feel the need to isolate in times of need, hurt themselves, or resort to extreme measures like suicide while they are struggling. They deserve to be taken care of and loved and treated gently as well. In recent years, helplines for various issues have been set up and the conversation for mental health in men has stirred up but there is still a long journey ahead of us. As individuals, men need to understand that asking for support does not make them any less human, and learning how to recognize and acknowledge their emotions will only help them understand themselves better which is a step further to getting out of their negative thoughts.
Frazer Lawton's story from Disquiet: The Hidden Depths of Men draws attention to the often hidden mental health issues that males encounter. His experience emphasizes how critical it is to eradicate the stigma associated with men's mental health. A genuine sense of belonging and healthier coping strategies can result from open communication and support.
It is important also to understand that the root of a lot of these issues that we complain about lies in the mental health of men. If men are made to feel safe and cared for and are forgiven for not being able to fulfill the expectations of their loved ones for the sake of their sanity, it would be a boon to our society.
In our country, 70% of the calls on the 24/7 toll-free mental health rehabilitation, available in 13 indian languages, KIRAN – they were men. the helpline received 15,170 calls until January 31. There is no shame in wanting to live a healthy life.
By Zarna
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