Meditation (Haibun)

By Kavya Nirman

I meditate with my crystals and all. The incense lit and the candles there somehow. I glare at these flames and think I should buy a diffuser, maybe an electric one. How will I ever find peace? This world seems to bother me now and later again.

I close my eyes and try to focus. Then this voice says to buy some more plants, the other one says—“focus on the mind’s eye,”— and another one—the extremist—'do you want to run away?’ People say there is this inner voice, which is highly intuitive. Why are there are so many for me? These voices that I cannot bear together. Please go away and let me breathe, my tears scream. I wish to cry in quiet.

Then the realities of life enter from behind and create more worries. Finally, I break down to yell at the universe. Please, please help me. I want the noise to stop. I have a daughter to take care of and a family to run. I need a bit of silence to hear my answers.

…longing to meditate in a way that life seems possible.

worries -

…of this life

and her crescent smile

24-01-2022

By Kavya Nirman