Maybe

By Samiksha

I wonder what having your people would seem like

A tribe to pick you up from your worst state of grey

An army to protect you when every bone of your soul is broken

A group to have a wholesome meal with 

A person to help you open the ketchup sachet

A self where happiness and peace are the default 

But I cannot have all that

Because peace seems like euphoria

Too far from reality, too desperate an attempt

My walls made of suffering, my rain of tears

My house made of sadness I collected as souvenirs

Any sensible one would see the gate of thorns and turn away

But even if the bravest of the armies, the fiercest of people, came through, then what?

Would I be able to give it back?

Would they deserve the agony of knowing me?

Would I be able to fight when they need me?

Would they be able to depend on me like I do?

Would they even stay when they get to know I cannot?

Maybe.

Maybe I would fight bravely for them

I would break every bone of mine and make it their shield

I would bleed if it meant they could have enough blood

I would break their walls to save them 

I would burn if it kept them warm

This fierce loyalty, would that make them stay?

Maybe.

I don't know if I could be someone’s tribe, army, or shoulder to lean on

But I know, that if they took my heart out of my rib cage

And burnt it down to every fibre of its existence

They would see less of me and more of them.

By Samiksha