Matching Underwear - By Tanya Warnakulasuriya

Written By: Tanya Warnakulasuriya (writing as T.P. Tovenaar, performing as The Twitchy Witch)

Category: Poetry

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Tanya Warnakulasuriya, writing as T.P. Tovenaar and performing as The Twitchy Witch, presents "Matching Underwear," a thought-provoking poem submitted to the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. This poetry piece delves into the expectations and societal norms surrounding personal attire, using humor and keen insight to challenge conventional wisdom. The poem’s playful exploration of gender dynamics and individual expression offers a refreshing perspective on everyday matters.

About the Work

"Matching Underwear" employs a witty, conversational tone to question the relevance of matching undergarments in the context of societal expectations. With sharp humor and poignant observations, the poem explores underlying themes of gender equality and personal autonomy. The vivid imagery and clever wordplay invite readers to reflect on the absurdity of certain societal norms, encouraging a dialogue about individuality and self-worth beyond appearances.

Matching Underwear

Original Submission by Tanya Warnakulasuriya (writing as T.P. Tovenaar, performing as The Twitchy Witch)

Matching Underwear

“Your bra should match your knickers!” cried my mother in disgust,

As though I’d committed the crime of the century,

With my chuch, my arse and my bust.

But why? I cry, who makes the rules over what I wear?

“It’s for your Man, “Dear mother replies “It’s nice, It shows you care”.

Does it really show I care, if my underwear pairs up so?

What does it show I care about? I really do not know.

Does it show I care about World Peace perhaps?

Or maybe it shows I care about World Poverty, World Hunger and melting ice caps?

She snorts “Don’t be belligerent!” (I think she means intelligent?)

“It shows you care about Him, when your underwear is elegant,

And co-ordinates for your mate, it’s an effort he’ll appreciate.”

Now, I have no doubt that my bloke has a little euphoria,

When he sees those models in those Secrets from Victoria

But wouldn’t it be nice if we had a bit of equality

When it comes to being eye candy

For the pleasure of each other’s fantasies?

Do mummies say to their sons to ditch their school boy shorts,

For button-fly boxers from Mr Klein

To be hot for their latest amour?

Do you think men buy their underwear with that special girl in mind?

Or do they just make sure its hole-less, stain-free and doesn’t smell

Before they take her out to dine?

That’s not to say men don’t care about their pants – they do

But it’s more about testicular comfort and support

Than it is about buying them for you.

And so when anyone dares to lament

Your choice of underwear

Turn on your heel, snap your strap

And take your intelligent booty elsewhere.

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar celebrates creativity and literary excellence, inviting participants from around the world to share their unique voices. This prestigious competition provides a platform for poets and writers to engage with a global audience, fostering a vibrant community of creative expression and innovation. Participants contribute diverse perspectives, enriching the literary landscape with their original works.

We extend our heartfelt thanks to Tanya Warnakulasuriya for her engaging submission, "Matching Underwear," to the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Her insightful exploration of societal norms and individuality resonates deeply with audiences, sparking reflection and conversation. We look forward to seeing more of Tanya's creative expressions in the future.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.