Love Hope Destiny

By Lolita Bhattacharya

Maya was clearing the drawers of her cabinet that was filled with memories. She had just spoken with Rohan her son who is settled in Melbourne. Her grandson babbled few words to her, “Daaaaadiiiii” and hearing his voice Maya’s heart swelled with love. It was a Sunday morning ritual for Rohan to connect with his mother through a video call. While rummaging through the drawers old incidents flashed through her mind making her smile or cry depending on which memory touched which chord. She picked up an old album and saw Rohan’s picture. It was taken from a beach holiday when Rohan was a gawky young lad of eight years. Maya picked the album and sat on a wooden chair flipping through the pictures, and in no time was lost in reverie.

Twenty five years passed since that beach holiday and it all just appeared like events from some other life. Maya was married off at a young age. Both the families were known to each other and their marriage was considered to be made in heaven kinds. Her husband Alok was quite a few years older than her and had a dominating presence. She was a free-spirited girl imprisoned in a golden cage. She had all the money to enjoy but all that she hoped from Alok was some respect, love and acceptance for who she is as a person and not how he wants her to be. Love was missing from their relationship and the only expression of love in her married life was the crumpled bed sheets. Love expressed in the most gross and primitive form. He could only touch her body but not her soul. Days rolled into months and shortly after her first wedding anniversary she gave birth to Rohan. Maya got completely involved with her motherly duties and her son filled up that void which was missing from her life. Alok would treat her well in front of their relatives, but in private would taunt and gaslight her. In all the years of emotional neglect, she started to develop an inferiority complex and depression. Whenever she was with her husband her anxiety level rose to please and placate him. Then one fine evening he just casually announced that he is done with Maya and is seeking divorce. Maya’s world fell apart in few seconds. The feeling of being neglected and betrayed ravaged her mind. That picture clicked was a reminder from a vacation taken in hope to save her loveless marriage. Friends and families could not persuade Alok to rethink on his decision as he was adamant. Maya’s dream for a love filled, happy family life never really happened and now with this divorce the hope for it to happen anytime in the future also came crashing down.

Post her divorce she went and stayed with her parents for the initial few months. Though her brother and his wife never mistreated her, yet she missed out on the sense of belongingness. It was not her home but her brother’s house. Her parents had aged and now they were also dependent on their son. Maya looked for a job and got a work as a designer in a fashion house. Fashion designing was always her interest and she completed that course with good grades. However, her husband did not approve such kind of work as it was below his status. Having a chartered accountant or lawyer as a wife would shine on his social status, but according to him fashion designer is nothing more but a glamorized tailor. Maya worked in the designer firm and made a good name for herself through her hard work, innovative designs and friendly attitude. She was gaining recognition at her work and was gradually regaining her lost self-esteem. After two years, she was made in charge of a new unit in Puducherry. There was a tinge of excitement and apprehension for a new place and a new beginning.

Puducherry is a buzzing French colonial beach city. The place has a laid back attitude. It has full of foreign tourists throughout the year and hence Rohan and she both got exposed to varied cultures and cuisines. Life in Puducherry was peaceful. Rohan got admitted in a good school there and was enjoying his studies and made few friends. One evening as Maya was returning home from work Rohan called her and asked her to get cheesecakes from one particular bakery. He would often hang out with his friends there after school. After much cajoling, Maya agreed and went to the shop. As she entered the shop, she was taken away by the soothing aroma of roasted coffee beans and vanilla essence.

She was pleasantly surprised to see that the shop though a tad bit shabby had all the tables full and some customers were queuing up outside as well. She waited for her turn to place the order and after a few minutes, a pleasant looking man handed her the parcel from behind the counter. “Are you new here, not seen you before?”. Maya gave him a stern look and answered, “It seems you know all your customers, to which he replied, ‘’yes mostly as this shop is around for almost seven years and our cheesecakes are famous all over Puducherry.” Maya just nodded and took the parcel. She never encouraged idle talk with any strangers. It is not that she is arrogant but the very thought of being friendly with any stranger, especially men makes her nervous. Somewhere deep inside her the attitude she faced from her husband is like an open wound that refuses to heal.

Days moved into months and then on Rohan’s fifteenth birthday they celebrated it in that café. Few of Maya’s colleagues and Rohan’s friends were invited. Ashish, the owner of the café made sure the place looked bright and made up for a birthday party. Rohan had also invited him and the boys were friendly with Ashish as they hung out in his café after school most of the days. Rohan introduced Maya to Ashish and she felt embarrassed on remembering her attitude and first encounter with Ashish. It was a cosy, lively party and everybody had a great time.

Gradually, friendship developed between Ashish and Maya. A friendship based on understanding, respect and trust. Maya started getting comfortable with him and gradually disclosed her past and the trauma she faced. Ashish also told her how he lost his wife to an accident and hence started Roma Café in his wife’s name as she always aspired to open a café someday. The friendship Ashish and Maya shared over the years was very special, it was non transactional love based on respect and understanding. Their friends would often tell them to tie the knot as their understanding is exemplary to which they would reply that after tying the knot, relationships tend to get knotty as it is burdened with expectations. Moreover, Maya is not comfortable with any social bondages and commitments. Also, Ashish is yet to get over Roma. When love is non transactional then the purity of that relationship shines throughout and it acts more as a soothing balm than a social duty. Ashish and Rohan were mutually fond of each other and Ashish mentored him like his own son throughout Rohan’s adolescent years. The two shared a deep connection and understanding with one another and sometimes Maya would get jealous but equally happy to see their bonding. After Rohan went to Melbourne for his higher studies, Maya would spend more time at Roma’s Café helping Ashish and his staff. The empty house without Rohan would tear her up from inside, but now she is a strong woman. She has come a long way from being a docile housewife. Her parents always told her that how one responds to life’s problems, shows the original strength of character. Fate is not in our hands, but one creates their own destiny by the choices they make. Life’s problems would either make or break a person and how he responds to it is what matters.

It is three years now that Ashish died of cancer. Mild fatigue, lack of appetite and debilitating health led to the discovery of an intruder inside him. Ashish had put up a brave fight for almost two years with Maya constantly by his side. Now when Maya is flipping through the album, tears and smiles all rushed out together. Now she manages Roma Café in Ashish’s memory and they still serve the best cheesecake in Puducherry. Rohan is married and settled in Melbourne. She visits them once a year and she looks forward to it. Her daughter in law is a good natured girl who respects and loves her and most importantly understands her. Maya has handled her life with grace and dignity and she was grateful for all the setbacks she faced early in her marriage. The hardships have made her a strong woman. Her friendship with Ashish was immensely enriching than her loveless marriage. He brought out the new Maya and taught her to be more kind towards herself. She realised that it is futile to hang around with those who weigh us down. Good relationships give a feel good factor. They feel right and make us happy. She realised how true it was, she looked for love in her loveless marriage but destiny brought her where she belonged and taught her never to lose hope even in the bleakest moments of despair.

By Lolita Bhattacharya