Lockdown Epiphany

By Anjali Nair

This was a piece was written during the first wave of the pandemic(May 2020), when we were all stuck at home, re-evaluating our lives, as we knew it. People were having deep, existential transformations but mine were more shallow considerations.

Isn't it sad that amidst all this Covid chaos

The empty streets and the lives lost

The one question that keeps me up at night

is, am I doing this lockdown right?

When all this comes to an end

and end it certainly will,

What will I have to show for this “gift” of time? - a dream bod? Finished script? Nope, just overgrown eyebrows and some unpaid bills.

Don't get me wrong

I know I'm one of the lucky ones and grateful for it everyday

I'd have lived to tell the tale of the lockdown.

That's more than many can say.

But see there's that nagging feeling again

Picking at my insecurities

A little ‘gratitude attitude’ isn't good enough

I'm waiting on a full-blown lockdown epiphany!

It has to be good,

One for the books

That perfectly sums up the lockdown that was, with profundity

Not just the grim details of people being on tenterhooks.

So let me break this down

There has to be something I can find,

That makes this lockdown for me

worth the grind?

So my angel broker forsook his brokerage

But my owner increased the rent

Sure that's a problem

A "problem" that comes with having a roof over my head

Ok my angel broker forsook his brokerage

But my owner did increase the rent

Sure that’s a problem

a “problem” with having a roof over my head.

I wasn’t displaced from home

And my work didn’t come to a grinding halt

But I did realize I live too far away from my parents

And I wondered if this work was worth it, after all.

No Dalgona coffees for me

But I do make a mean dal

and pancakes, lemon cakes and Chinese food

I suppose these could come handy in the long haul?!?

Another nugget of information - Men need frequent haircuts.

Who knew?

I also learnt that I am resilient

By myself, FOR myself there's not much I can't do

Yet people are not dispensable,

Connections are held dear

But if yours didn't survive the lockdown

Don't fret, my love, things just got crystal clear!

Clarity is great and all

But there's still that need for human interaction

Clocked many hours on Zoom calls, online games

And strangers' Instagrams’ evoked oh so many reactions

On the one-hand, there's happy crying and heart-warming

Like John Krasinski's SGN

On the other, there's terrorism and a disgusting thread on locker room talk Reminding us ‘Boys will be boys’ never real men

This tragedy is bringing us together

But reminds us that money still rules the world

If that doesn't send a chill down your spine, it's probably due to global warming – The OG death sentence, as it’s now fondly remembered!

Makes you wonder, maybe we deserve this collective purgatory, to pay for our misdeeds, wash away our sins.

Oh my God, was that an epiphany?

Ummmm…No I don't think.

Well time's running out

and I got not a single lockdown lesson to name,

Except maybe ‘Love one. Love all’?

God, that’s lame!

Or is it?

To have love for faceless, helpful neighbors

For doctors and frontline workers

Shopkeepers and service providers

Every single silent, strong fighter and survivor

Anyway, I do have an answer to my question

Yes that shallow one that keeps me up at night

Hold the drumroll, it’s very obvious

No, I did not do the lockdown right!

Well that was a bummer

A colossal waste of time

But I will make a toast

When I finally get my hands on a bottle of wine

A toast to Life After-Covid

To knowing we’re all the same by every worthy measure

To virtues of peace, equality, compassion & generosity

Not just during a pandemic, we’re always #InThisTogether

Hold on! Did I just have an…?!

By Anjali Nair