Last Day Of My Life

Yamimi Priyanka

By Everyone have only one life… we have to keep on living midst of problems and failures but, how long should we keep on going when we have already foreseen the future and it is still the same? I can’t keep on living like this anymore. My parents left me in an orphanage when I was young, I was bullied by others because I was too weak, no one ever asked me how I am, leaving the orphanage after my graduation is the most biggest mistake I have done…for them I am just a handful worker. My career is not good. Nothing is ever good in my life, and then what should I live for? For whom? Rather than living like a dead meat I will just end my life. This is what I have thought to do when I was 20 years old... now I am 50 and I am going to die in a few days because of my lung cancer but, this time I am not alone I have a wife and a daughter who is now my doctor. I would have regretted a lot up there if I killed myself then. Now I am going to face it I recalled this and I laughed at myself of being such a fool. Back then I planned to leave this world within a week from the day I made this decision. I thought a lot about how to die and where…and then something crossed my mind “the life I lived until now is not like I want, so I will spend this week as I dreamt of it” I resigned to my job, moved out of my rental house, cleared all deposits I made in bank, along with the money and my only companion my small pup doll I started travelling around the country… I used to live in Bombay and the experience I got made me to hate big cities… I visited Pondicherry. I took a room in a lodge and went out for sightseeing. I don’t know much about the place so I just visited a beach nearby. I was walking bare footed on the sand. There are not many people around me so it was a peaceful time… I lost in my thoughts until I heard a girl’s voice from behind ‘sir’. I turned back and it is a little girl with some flowers in her basket. “What do you want?” I

asked. She said “please buy this flower it is just 30 paisa”. “Why are you selling these? Where are your parents?”. “I don’t have parents”. For a minute I saw myself in her. “It’s hard right? Come here I will buy some”. She said “what is hard? I like to live like this because when I grow up I don’t need to worry about being independent”. I laughed at her… I took the flowers and gave them to an old woman who is removing the waste from the sand, she smiled at me in such a way that I couldn’t forget it until now… I went back to room after having my supper. It was late but I can’t sleep, I am still thinking about what the little girl said. I felt jealous of her because she is happy even when she had a miserable past like me. Why I am not like her? With all these thoughts I ruined my sleep, the next day I visited a coffee shop and there is a woman of my age making coffee. The shop is small but it is very famous. The coffee tasted really nice and I started to visit twice a day. I became a regular customer and I even had a good chat with the woman there. She once said that she had a hard life but she built this all with patience and love… I couldn’t even compare myself with such amazing person. Days have passed and only one day is left for me. I spent some time with the little girl and went to meet the woman from coffee store. I lost my control and told her everything. She said one thing “if you don’t want to die you can marry me and we can just look after the cafe together”. I was flustered but surprisingly I agreed. I found a job there and after 3 years I built my house and the very next year I was blessed with a little angel. That one week trip has changed everything in my life but I am still a kid compared to the little girl I met at beach. When I asked her to live with us she simply refused, I still wonder about that. This is my story. Before I die I want to publish this out. I want people to understand that life is something which is really not predictable so, don’t decide anything before. Learn to live. Learn to love.

Yamimi Priyanka