Karmic Debt

By Amaresh Nimkar

The man had only a short while to live and as with most people in a similar situation, he was completely unaware of his impending doom. He was patting himself feverishly in the unmistakable manner of someone who has forgotten something and is hoping desperately to find it in one of his pockets. In this case, it was money. Behind the counter the pharmacist cocked a wary eye towards the customer and was mentally cursing the man for making him remove medicines from his shelves before checking his pockets. Finally, with an embarrassed half-grin the man looked at the pharmacist, “I seem to have forgotten my money at home”, he said sheepishly. The pharmacist shrugged and started returning the medicines to the respective shelves. The action in itself had an air of finality that did not escape the desperate eyes of the man. He moved out of the pharmacy disappointed with himself for making such a silly mistake and started walking in an absent-minded manner away from the store. It was quite late at night and he had travelled from his house to the only pharmacy he was aware of that not only would be open at that hour but also stock the medicines he needed. As he negotiated a bend on the road that hid the pharmacy and almost all other stores along that part of the street, he saw a light glowing in only one establishment quite a way off on the other side of the road. Absently, he crossed the road and walked towards the light. It took him a while to reach the shop. A young teenager about 13-14 years old was manning the counter and he looked up as the man walked in front of the store in an un-decided, unsure manner. There was something intriguing about the man and his apparent hesitation. He looked into the man’s eyes. They were kind eyes that seemed temporarily shadowed with worry. “You look troubled, sir. What seems to be the problem?” the boy inquired. The man smiled, his face lit up genuinely in-spite of his worried look. “Oh, I actually made a silly mistake and am trying to figure out how best to resolve the situation”, the man replied sardonically. “I had forgotten to buy medicines early in the day because of some other urgent work and I decided to buy them now from the pharmacy down the street. And the embarrassing thing is I forgot my money. Not sure how that happened, but I must have been more pre-occupied than I thought.” The man shifted his feet restlessly and continued. “Now I will have to go back home and return with the money since it is critical that I get at least two doses before morning. And that’s going to take more than an hour and a half”. I don’t know what to do because I am really very exhausted”, he concluded with a wry grin. The teenager looked at the man thoughtfully. The brown eyes reflected genuine distress and going by his general attire he seemed to be a decent man. The teenager took a deep breath and decided to gamble. “How much do the medicines cost?” he asked the man. “Oh, about eight hundred rupees. Should not be more than that. But, what difference does it make even if it’s ten rupees. I don’t have a coin in my pocket”, the man replied. “Well, if you like I can lend you the eight hundred rupees”, the boy stated with an air of quiet finality. The man looked up with a wariness and a hint of hope in his eyes. “Can you really do that? Why?” “Yes, I think I can, but I am not sure why”, the boy replied. “You seem to be a good man and I am sure you will re-pay me as soon as possible, may be tomorrow itself?” the boy replied. “But you hardly know me” said the man trying to probe further and figure out the reason for this kindness. “I mean, I really appreciate the offer, but how can you be sure I will pay you back?” The boy shrugged nonchalantly and said “I pride myself on reading men. I think you are a genuine person and I have a feeling that you will definitely return my money immediately. Even if you don’t it’s still only eight hundred rupees and I will consider that I have done a good deed, may be prop up my karma”, the boy concluded with a short laugh. The man was speechless for a moment. He was touched by the boy’s generosity. “Thank you, son, I accept with gratitude and I promise, I will return this amount tomorrow itself, even if it’s the last thing I do”. Saying this, the man graciously accepted the proffered eight-hundred-rupee notes from the boy with an awkward half-smile. As he turned to leave, the man noticed a strange tattoo on the boy’s forearm just above the wrist. It was the depiction of a bright yellow sun about three inches in diameter with a single word etched inside using dark blue ink in Devanagari script. It said ‘Karna’. “That’s my name, sir…” said the boy with a smile noticing the man’s curious stare. “Quite appropriate son” replied the man. “After all, ‘Karna’ in Hindu mythology was the most generous man ever and your action today would make him proud of you”. So saying, the man turned and started retracing his path towards the pharmacy. As earlier, it took him a while to reach the pharmacy. His mind was still abuzz with the boy’s generosity. There were very few instances in his life that complete strangers had shown such kindness. He would be sure to return the money the next day itself and vindicate the boy’s trust in him. With these thoughts swirling in his mind and without really being aware of his surroundings, the man fatally started crossing the road. He probably never saw or even heard the car that careened onto him as he tried to cross. He lay by the side of the road with a numbness stealing over his body as people rushed over to the scene of the accident. He couldn’t feel his body anymore. As the darkness closed over him, the singular emotion that overcame him was of deep regret. He would never be able to repay the boy’s generosity now. The boy may actually think that in his ingratitude he had stolen the money. Then there were no more thoughts and no more regrets to be felt anymore.

He gasped as he surfaced from the trance. A momentary wave of panic engulfed him and receded as soon as it had hit leaving him shaken. He moved his head from side to side while taking stock of his surroundings and made a serious attempt to get back to reality. Slowly and as per him after an inordinate amount of time but which in effect was just a few seconds, he reached a state of awareness. He was lying on the doctor’s couch post his fourth and finally successful attempt at past life regression. He still felt a bit dazed and started cataloguing his current state. He was 24 years old. An educated young man from a good family. As far back as he could remember he had been always plagued by intermittent bouts of depression and anxiety. No number of sessions with a psychologist or amount of drugs from a psychiatrist had really created any positive effect in his case. This was his final attempt. If this didn’t work, nothing would, because he knew of no other method. He had been skeptical when he had been told about the technique of past life regression. The fact that using specific techniques, it is possible to peek into past lives and discern unresolved issues that could actually affect the present was to him a little too far-fetched. The last three attempts had kind of reinforced his belief that this was all hokum, since he had been spectacularly unable to get into any sort of a trance. Actually his skepticism had lasted till this particular successful attempt. What he had just gone through on the fourth attempt was pretty mind boggling to say the least. He looked round at the circle of 4-5 people that surrounded him. Since in his trance state he had recounted his entire past life experience, they were completely aware of what he had seen. They had all been a party to the final scene of his most recent past incarnation on earth. Right up to the point that he got hit by the car. They were all smiling. Finally, a successful attempt. He glanced at the foot of the couch towards the chief therapist. This man was a renowned neuro-surgeon. The chief therapist was also a world-wide expert in handling past life issues and vastly more experienced than his minions who handled most of the run-of-the-mill cases. Not that any past life regression could ever be considered run-of-the-mill. But apparently this case had greatly intrigued the chief therapist who had started taking a personal interest. For all practical purposes, the chief therapist allowed his designation to be shortened and referred to as ‘chief’ by everyone who worked with him. Very imaginative. The chief was an old man with snowy white hair and with a spidery web of humor lines emanating outwards from the mouth. At that point, there was no humor on that face. In fact, the intelligent eyes seemed to be grappling with some internal, personal tumult. “That was good, right? I mean…this is what one experiences during past life regressions, right?” He halting addressed the chief. The chief seemed to come out of his reverie at the sound of his voice, “Yes, this is exactly what one experiences…although in your case, it was pretty vivid and the clarity of the experience was simply amazing”, the chief responded with an all-knowing smile. The face had a certain joy that was in a sharp contrast to the apprehension seen just moments ago. It was calm, serene even content. “I think we need to give him a few minutes to himself” said the chief to his minions, while motioning with his hand towards the door. “Such experiences can be disconcerting sometimes and can also lead to temporary disorientation” the chief continued now speaking to the entire room. The minions dutifully filed out of the door, quietly discussing what they had just seen. The chief lingered in the room. “Are you feeling, okay?”, the chief asked him with a twinkle in his eye. He nodded and asked quietly…” Did this help? I mean, will this assist me in getting rid of the issues that have plagued me so far?” He was desperate for a positive answer. It was not every day that one could see incidents of a past life with such clarity. There had to be something in that scene of his last incarnation that could resolve the issues of his present. The chief replied with a reassuring touch to his voice that stirred something deep within him, “Well, sometimes it’s difficult to interpret the past in a manner that allows us to make accurate corrections in the present. But, in your case, I guess you can consider yourself a very lucky man…” the chief continued with a humorous glint in the eye, “I believe your present depression and anxiety will soon be a thing of the past”. With that cryptic comment, the chief moved towards the door. As he lifted his hand to turn on the light switch in the dimly-lit room, the sleeve of his right hand receded to bare his forearm. There just above the wrist was a cracked and ancient but clearly visible tattoo of a faded yellow sun. A single word “Karna” although faint, could clearly be seen stenciled in the middle of the tattoo in Devanagari script. The chief smiled and said “Don’t worry about paying me back separately. I will add the eight hundred rupees to the overall bill”. So saying the chief smiled once again and swiftly moved out of the room. All of a sudden, he was engulfed by a deep peace and a feeling of quiet contentment that he had never before experienced in his life. The karmic debt had been paid.

By Amaresh Nimkar