Just A Thought
By Kelsie Coleman
Just a Thought
I’ve been thinking
I never really learned how to grieve!
Not just the sting of death
But the death of a thing
From a little girl, I buried every loss!
Making the decision to be stronger than my pain
My perception of strength was not being affected
Though my eyes may have never let one tear fall
My heart was becoming afflicted!
No matter what happened
I never acknowledged the disappointment
Living my life with an “It is what it is”
Constantly falling from my lips as a dismissal
Expecting the worst from people, places, and things
With the acceptance of every time, you get your hopes up
Things are never what they seem
So, from a kid to 25, I never realized
This heart needed a good cleansing
This heart needed a good cleansing
Though it exuded lots of love
It was also wracked with pain
Pain of the little girl I used to be
Hurt from the teenager, I grew to be
Pain from the college girl who WAS optimistic, confident, and full of faith
That got knocked down along the way
Strain from the woman who for years carried all this weight
So, if you’re catching my drift
You’d know that as fate would have it
A breakdown was bound to happen
So, from September 1 to December 31st
There has been nothing but tears!
Of the pain that this little girl held inside her for years
And FINALLY, at 25, God made me confront it
No longer able to hold it in, I had no choice but to let it out
The more I tried to suppress it, the more it snuck out!
Tears stream down my eyes at the most inopportune times
My mind wasn’t ready, but apparently my heart was
So, as God would have it, a transition was destined to come
Forcing me to change and work on my dysfunction
Challenged to elevate my thinking and stop being defensive
Allowing me to see a lot of things differently
Day by Day, I learn anew
How to let go and grieve things
That no longer serves a purpose
I have unlearned the need to hold things in
By Kelsie Coleman
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