In Wisps of Smoke

By Sumedha Gupta

 trauma screams for an escape

A quiet one

Which no one can hear

Because no one CAN hear

No one can EVER come to know

A rebellious one

Who's heat only she can feel

Churning through her stomach

Her tired chest

A wrong one

Because nothing has ever went right in her life inspite of trying to nearly death

Yes

She wanted to kill herself once

She didn't 

I told you she was brave

She releases her trauma in silenced screams

In distorted art

In poems like these

In a smoke, yes 

And that smoke is not of the present

It's a time traveller from the past

It's the remains of a childhood fire

The fumes of a burnt family

The smoke out of an angry man's ears

The smoke out of a hurt daughter's lips

She doesn't care for the high, no

But just the act of putting it to her lips

Breaking every rule that has ever caged her

Sucking wrongdoing in

Letting it run through her blood

And exhaling haunted memories

And deadly wisps of smoke

That dissolve into the air

As if they were never there

But her lungs keep score

And so did her body

Let her clear the balance

Let the tar match her trauma

Let her live a dangerous life

Because anything else 

Makes her wanna die.

Oh, I forgot to mention-

She's also incredibly intelligent

Smart enough to not let the past fire

Choke her with its creeping smoke

She's going to be a doctor, you know

Yes she did pretty well for herself

She might even shift abroad

Interested in psychiatry, helping out innocent victims like her

She has a future she's building for herself

A future that belongs entirely to her

To her will

To her wish

And she will be bossed around by no one

And that is a future to look forward to

Relax, she doesn't smoke

She knows it's wrong

However, she has to remind herself of who she is

So occasionally-

She puts a cigarette between her lips

And releases her trauma

In wisps of smoke

By Sumedha Gupta