If Only

By Vikas Yadav

If only I knew that hug was my last hug to you, I would have gathered all courage to hug you even tighter.

Whenever I imagine you sitting in that cab, I wish I would have accompanied you and dropped you home but if only I knew that would be our last journey together.

I would have stayed with you a little longer on that metro and would have asked for two eternities instead of two seconds if only I knew that would be our last conversation.

That day, I would have practiced all dance steps with you until my steps would have followed yours,  until my movements would have got in tandem with yours if only I knew that would be my last chance to learn dancing from you. 

I would have joined you for the Dandiya night if only I knew that would be my only chance to dance with you.

I would have expressed my feelings to you 4 years ago if only I knew I would get late if I'll wait.

I would not have prioritised others' happiness if only I knew I would lose you if I won't prioritise yours.

We would have sat under the night sky with shining stars around and I would have made every effort to know your heart if only I knew that was our last night together.

I would have admired your every flaw, your every achievement if only I knew I won't get another chance.

I would have put my words in the best way possible to explain myself if only I knew I was so hard for you to understand.

I would have never expressed my emotions if only I knew I would lose my dearest friend the moment I'll do so.

I would have sent you all happy texts if only I knew you would keep them unacknowledged. 

I wouldn't have begged you if only I knew I wouldn't get any chance to make it full.

If only I had known "It's not you, it's me" will echo for so long in my ears I wouldn't have asked you for any answers.

I wouldn't have come closer to you if only I knew it would take you away and change you for ever.

I wouldn't have asked you for a break if only I knew it was so easy for you to lose me even as a friend.

I would have loved you only in thoughts if only I knew this reality would be so painful and heart-breaking.

I wouldn't have developed feelings so strong if only I knew your definitions and expectations of love earlier.

I would have gathered all the happiness & peace for you if only I knew I will be the reason of your distress in coming days.

I would have won the world for you if only I knew my world is going to change so soon.

By Vikas Yadav