I Miss The Lullaby

By Sagarika Das

If only I knew,

This is how I will be at 22,

I would have hold on to the womb of my mother,

Tighter,

A little bit more.

If only I knew,

How much tears I would have to shed?

For the things that don't even matter,

I would have been infant in the arms of my father,

For a longer moment,

A little bit more.

If only I knew,

When I use to fall on ground scraping my knees,

The magical band-aid that my parents used,

Wouldn't work their magic on wounds anymore,

I would have fallen a little less,

If only I could save those band-aid,

A bit more.

If only I knew,

When you are bigger,

The meaning of sadness means only mockery,

I would have practiced in the mirror,

The art of how not to be sombre,

A little bit faster in my teens,

If only this could now give me my happy,

A little bit more.

If only I knew,

How life will be lonely,

How failure will not be a step of learning,

But a tattoo you'll have to always carry,

How materialistic and bank balance,

In the figure of 6,

Means you are living,

I would have played with earthen dolls,

And collected the broken pieces of cutlery,

A little bit more,

Because this would have made me richer,

On the playground of my childhood,

Giving me the feeling of acceptance,

That I don't have it anymore.

If only I knew,

This will be my 20s,

I would have repeatedly,

Obsessively,

Listened to the lullaby,

Like a hymn,

A little bit more.

By Sagarika Das