I Feel Like

By Lelaina MacDonald

i’ve tried so hard to be myself 

despite this weather

despite these feelings

despite the thoughts

i feel like a fraction of me is gone

i put in so much effort

so much time

so much of my heart

into what i once had

i feel like i can’t ever do that again 

where did it all go wrong?

will any of the good stuff come back?

do i deserve to have all that again?

how am i going to get through this?

i feel like maybe i won’t

i miss him more than i should

i can’t help it

he’s always been my person

but now he’s not

i feel like i need him more than ever

i can’t change the past

i can’t make him come back

i can’t undo it all

but i wish i could

i feel like i’m falling apart all over again

he was my safe space

my one and only

the piece of the puzzle

i had been searching for

i feel like i’m incomplete without him

i wish i could talk to him right now

but i know i can’t

and shouldn’t

do that

By Lelaina MacDonald