“I Don’t Cry Anymore”
- Hashtag Kalakar
- Nov 28, 2025
- 2 min read
By Parizad Gaur
I remember those tremendous times when my pale face would flush with heat,
And my eyes burst out a tsunami of tears, huge flares of water all over me,
I was always known as the “crybaby”, the one who had her mother tightly closed off to,
Trying to quiet her in public, by the corner, sticking a pacifier in her mouth, or by rubbing the back gently,
Years passed, and as a teenager I had used crying as a way of release, something I know which was dear to me,
Something which I had right next to me.
Oh, I watched “The Shawshank Redemption”, oh the ending made me cry, when Andy finally swims out of the prison, through the sewers,
Oh, I saw a dead bird, I cried,
Oh, my mother shouted at me, and I cried,
Oh, I saw my father’s miserable and disappointed face in the evening, all covered by his sweat, Oh I cried.
Oh, my brother gave my mother a tough time, I cried,
Oh, the only person I dearly loved, couldn’t stay in my life
Oh… I cried.
I made mistakes, and I cried
I have just cried.
Crying was an escape; it felt like a small bubble being burst out of my head,
I have felt alive and so much human, knowing that I can express despair so easily
Which many people struggle with.
But… since the past few weeks…
It just feels like…
I’ve lost this power,
I don't cry anymore
I feel an ache in my heart,
But the eyes don't water, the throat doesn’t get itchy, the stomach doesn’t growl,
The nose doesn’t scrunch
Maybe it's because
Now I realise that crying has never helped
It has always just closed what pains,
But because it hurts so much,
I'm becoming numb
Should I regret it or celebrate it?
I wish I could cry about it
But I know that I don't cry anymore….
By Parizad Gaur

❤️🩹❤️🩹