How To (not?) love Love

By Abraham Fashakin

I thought I loved Her

For Her soul.

For Her infectious energy,

a catalyst for excitement to rise,

Her presence,

A clear indication She has arrived,

Her personality, 

Shining like the ever present sun.

But one fateful night—

I thought about the future.

I thought about how I would feel;

how She would feel if we were together.

Thinking it over, I thought

about severing our relationship;

about breaking the chain 

between Her and me.

The chain refused to break.

Like a weight on my heart

It stayed sturdy as it fought

to keep my heart where it was.

Away from the uncertainty.

I searched for the chain’s foundations

And thought back to where else

I encountered this ignorant feeling.

Who else have I hurt with this?

And then, I realized, from Her imaginary pedestal—

I never loved Her much 

Honestly, I never loved Her at all—

just what She stood for.

I loved Love.

I loved the idea of someone I can talk to freely.

Someone I can unload all my issues to

And get a response or an affirmation,

A lifelong partner that I could

lean on for support

as they lean on me likewise.

The idea of it hypnotized me.

It made me want to give my all into someone

And hope for something in return.

Now, lying in my bed with my truth,

dear reader, I leave you with this:

It isn’t as simple as putting Love and Her

on a pedestal of equal height

because other than the fact

that Her is Love:

You can sketch the motive

 of wanting to love Her

and scribble between the lines later

about why you want to love Her.

To love her is to love Love.

To love Love is to love Love exclusively.

So, how do you love the Her that has become Love itself?

By Abraham Fashakin