How much attachment is too much?

By Savi Surana

After embracing motherhood, I discovered unbound love, deep compassion, immense care and endless stamina. Oh, almost forgot to mention much-needed, newly-found heights of patience. But motherhood also instilled a feeling of fear in me which I am not very proud of. A terrible thought that doesn't occur very often but whenever it does, it makes me shudder. Fear of what would happen to my little one if I meet an untimely end. Some may say it is futile to think about something which isn't under our control. Well, I completely agree. But I know there are people like me who are emotionally driven. Those who feel before thinking. Those who react before analyzing. Those who get attached before understanding.

I have been attached in general with many people but I have had deep attachments with few people since as long as my memory goes starting from my grandmother, my favorite teacher to my little one and many more in between. This has hurt me on various stages in various ways. My father told me time and again not to be TOO attached to anyone. I have tried not to expect too much from people but I get attached easily nevertheless. And most of my decisions are majorly influenced by these people directly or indirectly. But yesterday's incident made me rethink my understanding of how to live life. I heard an anecdote from my neighbor which moved me immensely and I couldn't wait to pen it down.

My neighbor went on a group tour to Spiti Valley. That group had a lady in her late 50s. She had come to the trip alone. She had an infectiously charming personality. She was a very fun loving person and a passionate traveler. She told the group members that she had traveled to almost all 'must visit' places in the world. I was on the verge of envying her. I wished I could have a life like hers. Then I got to know that the lady had undergone knee replacement surgery for both her knees. Yet she was very active and enthusiastic throughout the trip. Except for one or two difficult spots she went to all the sightseeing spots.

Feeling proud of her, are we..!?! Wait till you hear more. Her husband stayed back home coz his heart was working with only 20% of its capacity. And she told everyone breezily that she called him up every morning just to check whether he was still alive or not. I was left aghast. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I wondered how someone could talk like that about their life partner.

Then my neighbor told me a little more about the couple. The lady and her husband were a lovely couple. They spent their life pursuing each other's passions together, traveled the world together, cared, loved and supported each other in every phase and aspect of life. That lady went on the trip because of the promise that she made to her husband. Promise that she will continue living her dreams irrespective of the circumstances. Promise that she will make her husband her strength and not her weakness. The couple had lived their lives to the fullest and they would have no qualms if life came to an end.

It took me a while to comprehend all this. But it made me realize that we get so busy in making ourselves fit in the expectations of people we are attached to that we forget to live our own life and pursue our passions. We wish that our loved ones will be there for us forever but life is very unpredictable. Relationships are undoubtedly important and responsibility towards them is undeniable but we should also focus on accomplishing our own dreams and then take life as it comes.

By Savi Surana