hemocyanin

By Vrischika Kotak

in this dream, we're 15 again but this time we've already met, yeah, do you remember? it was when our schools took us on a trip to an aquarium north of this morbid town, i was sitting next to the cave with the cuttlefish and you came and sat to the left. you asked me why i chose to sit here and i told you it's because i find cuttlefish fascinating - did you know that they have three hearts and green-blue blood? do you think their hearts get tired of beating and their blood changes colour? in this dream, we are alive but we are not, my heart wasn't in pieces, neither was yours.

in this dream we're 15 but the world isn't on fire. the sun doesn't burn our tongues, it holds us, it is bright and it is warm. we weren't half as broken as we are now. the rippling water in the tanks could be seen reflecting throughout the translucent grey flooring in this place and on the very skin encasing our bodies, the shadows made it look like we're old and wrinkly, i remember laughing. in this moment, we were kids who couldn't be bothered less about fitting in, we were 15 and for once the world was in our hands and not on our backs. we went to school and we wanted to die. in this dream , we did not.

By Vrischika Kotak