Hate Story

By Alisha Fernandes

Awaiting next to the terrace door, I held her by her shoulder the very moment she entered. Covering her eyes, I moved her towards the surprise. My excitement vanished with a sudden slap and her painful scream in shivering voice " Stop It". Her voice kept echoing in my ears sending a vibrating current through my body while a strange voice kept calling out to me. Asking me to come out of the torment of the memory well. A sudden pat on my shoulder got me back to the real world, I realized it was Sharma Uncle at the driver’s seat blabbering out of concern. After a few seconds of opening my eyes, I realized he was handing me his phone to talk to Maa, who after a few call attempts had called on his number, to reach out to me.

Taking the call, I assured her I am fine and was going back to New York just for a week. I convinced her that I was bored at home and was missing my college friends. Playing along with my lie she enquired about my return ticket. I knew I was being shallow and selfish. But it was something I needed the most, it was THE best thing to do.

Returning his phone back, I tilted my head against the window, looking at the travellers by. Majority of the people were in a rush to reach their destinations, while a bunch of youngsters enjoyed the city hustle, and a group of school kids chatting about their adventurous day at school. Among them was a boy, quiet and isolated. He looked lonely and lost. He reminded me of my childhood. My Dad used to move from one city to the other to develop his business, once every two years or sometime every year. Maa always wanted to stay by him to make sure he doesn’t overwork and deprive himself of healthy food. My childhood was full of packing, shifting, unpacking, and settling. By the time we settled in one city, dad would plan a new city. Any school I went to, I was the new boy, who got lots of attention but no friends. Even if I was lucky to make a friend, the friendship would soon have a sad ending. After a city or two, I was habituated to the process, I focused on studies and avoided making friends.

While I was in class VIII, we moved into Mumbai. With the technological advancements, ample resources and years of hard work, Dad planned to make Mumbai our home and his centre of business. He purchased a house adjacent ¬to his friend’s house. It was a two floored old bungalow on the outskirts of the city with a common terrace. The terrace was to be shared by the family who

lived in the adjacent house, it belonged to my dad’s friend who was also the brother of the former house owner. The burden of moving from one city to the other was replaced with the lightness of exploring Mumbai and making new friends. My mom was also equally excited, she always craved to have her own house. She began pursuing her hobby of gardening and within a few weeks she had made a bunch of friends, with whom she would visit nearby temples and shop for groceries. While I was stuck with the girl named Seema, next door. She was also my classmate. She was very introverted. We would silently ride on our cycles to our schools, she avoided fun and kept herself away from gossip. She seemed weird. I don't like her company, but our parent’s bond got us into the same school, tuition and even summer camps. Over a period, she changed.

Over the years she turned into a more fun-loving person, we would spend our day together either attending college, working on assignments, shopping or enjoying family functions. She would often get me my favourite snacks and we would complete our assignments together on the terrace. It was our bond that got our family closer. After the end of college, Seema decided to take up a job in the government school nearby the house, while I decided to leave for New York, to pursue higher studies in architecture. It was sad to part ways with Seema, but we both had our own career path to follow, and it was only a matter of two years. After a few weeks in New York, I was homesick, I missed Seema a lot. After several trials also I was unable to create a similar bond with the friends abroad. As adulthood creeped in, I and Seema realized that our relationship had grown beyond friendship, and we began to crave for each other’s company. By the end of my course, I had prepared to return to India. I was supposed to land and reach home a day before Seema’s birthday. I had managed to plan a surprise with the help of both our mothers.

As planned, I messaged Seema that I wouldn’t be able to attend her birthday, as the flight tickets were unavailable. While I reached home an evening prior to her birthday and completed the preparation with a cake and beautiful gift, I had bought weeks ago in New York. It was 11:50 and everything was set. As decided, my mother called her up asking to come to the terrace for some urgent help. I waited next to her terrace door, excited and nervous. Spending two years away from Seema, in New York, I had realized that bond between us was more than friendship, what made me homesick was the absence of my childhood sweetheart. When I mentioned it to my mom, she said that everybody back home knew about it and was planning to talk to us soon about

our marriage. Along with both our moms, I planned to propose to her for marriage on her birthday. And now that the moment had arrived, I was sweating with nervousness. Staring at my watch. She entered at 11:55, my heart skipped a beat when I held her by the shoulder. My world was about to change in seconds, and it did. She not only retorted to my touch, but screamed, asking me to Stop and before the light was on, she struck me with a tight slap and ran back to her house weeping like a kid in pain and horror.

My heart sank, the lights were put on, her mom ran after her, while Maa tried asking me what happened? Shocked, I walked back to my room. The sound of her scream kept echoing in my head, while my hands trembled with fear. I began to feel suffocated. It felt like I was drowning in the well, when a stranger pulled me by shoulder. Coming back to the real world I realized it was Sharma Uncle, he was repeatedly telling me that we had reached the airport. I was able to hear him, while my mind struggled to get back to the present, to take control and register what Sharma uncle was saying. It felt like the he had rescued me from drowning in the well of torment. My suffocation was eased with the cool breeze blowing in from the window, though the sharp pain in the chest still existed. It felt like I had been stabbed in the chest. My phone buzzed, I answered the call, assuring Maa I was okay and would get back to her after reaching New York. After switching off the cell, I turned towards the airport.

When someone suddenly ran into me, she hugged me tight and began weeping. I knew it was her. How could I not recognise my childhood sweetheart Seema? She cried profusely blabbering a few words. It took a while to understand that she kept repeating the same sentence “I was scared. I thought it was him” I called back for the car, and we started for home. On our way back home, it took a while for Seema to collect herself and narrate her side of the story.

On a winter evening while she was working on her school assignments, her uncle joined her on terrace. He was early home that day and was surprised with the fact that her parents were not at home. He was her dad’s younger brother just few years elder to her. She mentioned that they were out visiting one of their relatives. He then sat nearby and started describing about his day at college, his friends, college life and slowly he came closer offering her a chocolate. Out of innocence and joy she put her hand forward. Taking advantage of the situation he leaped forward and tried holding by the waist. She could feel his breathe. Feeling uncomfortable she moved away. He took her discomfort for shyness and began getting closer. He then began praising her

and stating his love for her. Terrified by his move she wasn’t listening to even a word of what he said.

She then ran down to her room and lay in solitude on the bed. As days passed, he would often find her on the terrace and rub his hands against her body or even kiss her cheeks. His touch made her uncomfortable and gave her nightmares. While her lack of courage to fight back or seek someone’s help was taken as a sign of shy consent and he grabbed all opportunities that came his way. While she was stripping herself of confidence and getting uncomfortable with the mere presence of men around her. She was scared enough to seek anybody’s help. She began avoiding conversations or going to the terrace. This continued for two years until he had to move abroad for his further education and job. Before leaving he promised, after completing further education and settling with a job he would come back for her.

It took her years to overcome the fear, but the scars were inevitable. She had got back to her normal life with her parents and started trusting in people. With a small circle of dear ones, she lived her simple and happy life. She always thought of marrying her friend Sparsh, who despite being an ambitious person was always down to earth and made her feel comfortable. His friendship had been a steppingstone for her to overcome the child abuse. While their care and understanding towards each other had long surpassed the relationship of a friendship.

After Sparsh left for New York to pursue his master’s in architecture, their relationship grew stronger with distance. The pain of being unable to see each other each day gave birth to the joy of communicating on calls and messages. Technology got them closer each day. She had all planned to talk to her parents about her feelings and ask for their approval of her future with him as her birthday gift.

All dreams were shattered with the sudden visit of her uncle. The disturbing memories of physical abuse came gushing in with the glimpse of his face. She was numb, she suddenly felt lonely and unsafe within the comforts of her own house. Years of hate and anger had not yet given her the courage to speak. All she could still do was run into her room and shut the door. After a while there was a knock at the door, she knew it was him. He knocked a few times and said he wanted to talk to her. The glimpse of being abused as a child began to flash around her eyes until the knocking stopped and was followed by the footsteps sound that fainted after a while.

Like the darkness takes over the light, her excitement of a new beginning was overshadowed with the memories of the past. She lay stagnant and lifeless. The ringing of the phone was what brought her back to the real world. It was Sparsh’s mother calling her to the terrace for some urgent help. On her way she kept saying to herself that she would be a stronger person, not the same innocent kid who would suffer in silence. She entered the terrace and was about to turn on the lights when she was grabbed by the shoulder by a man, filled with fear and frustration she turned around and slapped him. Proud about her action and fearing the outcome she ran back to her room. She lay there profusely crying over the pain that she had gone through for years.

She was only able to pull herself together the next morning. She decided to get fresh and gathered the courage to talk to her parents about her uncle's behaviour. When she was about to reach the door, she found a letter below the door. She opened and read it. It was from her uncle who had written it to request an apology for his years of misbehaviour with her as a teenager. He mentioned that he realized that he had taken her silence for approval or interest and forced himself on her only after he married a woman. After being blessed with a baby girl, he was being haunted with the fear of his karma being turned into a punishment to his child. The fear of her being molested or harassed has started eating him up. It was then that he decided to visit her and ask for forgiveness.

With great courage he had reached out to talk to her, but her lack of response filled him with shame and embarrassment. Determined to end things, he wrote her the apology letter yesterday evening. He was able to see the scars he had left on her life and asked for forgiveness. The letter wasn’t able to erase her traumatic memories and nightmares or take away her pain, but it eased her a bit. It gave her the strength to perceive life with a stronger approach.

Looking towards the watch she realized it had been 12 hrs past her birthday and wondered why nobody wished her. She quickly changed into a new dress and went out calling to her mother, who angrily said, “Now that he has left back for New York, aren’t you happy? His effort to make everything so beautiful and special was the proof of his immense love that he has towards you. If you were not interested in him, why did you get so close”. Confused, Seema asked for a clear explanation.

After knowing that it was Sparsh who had held her by the shoulder and was there to surprise her with a marriage proposal on her birthday. She was both

shocked and embarrassed at the same time. Without uttering a word Seema grabbed her bike keys along with the purse and left. She rushed to the airport, right after she saw him outside the airport she ran into his arms and began crying profusely.

By Alisha Fernandes