Guardian Angel

By Mohammed Ahmed

My name is Toffy. Sounds sweet right? But I am not really fond of it. Currently the world isn't such a good place. I hadn't realised it until I stepped out into the hatred, sorrow and despair.

I lived in a small village. It was lively by the day and peaceful by the night. Took me a while to realize, it was the most untainted place there was. But then again, I was a naive 15-year-old boy.

If you had seen me when I was 15, you would think of me as a plain farmer's boy. I lived between nature, rivers, herds of sheep, hens and so on. As long as I can remember I saw my father ploughing the field every day, tending to the crops.

My mind also had a picture of me doing the same when I grew up. But fate had something else for me entirely. 100 metaz. My country's currency. That's how much I heard the big broad man in green uniform say to my father as he gave him a bundle of notes.

The next thing I knew I was being transported very close to the unknown world. An, army camp. I wonder why my father did it? I wasn't sad, I was just quiet. Rather than anger I felt empty. It was a strange feeling not being able to understand why he did that.

As the man had taken me away, I repeatedly called out to my father but he remained silent and watch me depart with a smile.

Anyhow, I now have been brought to the Melloub army camp. I was a scrawny kid even among the kids my age. My only plus point was that I had a good height considering my age.

The first day at the camp, I experienced the meaning of a word I had learnt long time back. Hell.

My whole body had been aching, I could say for myself that I was a strong kid despite my appearance but it was nothing in front of the training me and the new recruits received.

The first week was tough. But humans tend to have the ability to adapt to their environment. So, slowly and steadily I was able to adapt to the harsh training. Getting up early, doing chores around the camp.

I wonder if any of my friends from the village missed me? I missed them. Though I didn't make any friends here at the camp. I could already see good bonds had formed between everyone.

But there wasn't me in it. I was picked on a lot because of my name. I lost a lot of fights. All my fights would be accurate to say, I suppose. The food wasn't great but they fed us once a day.

Though I wasn't sure if I would make it with the food. My food, a good, many number of times had been snatched away.

They fed us twice on a Sunday. So, everyone looked forward to a Sunday. I didn't because it only meant twice my food was gone. The camp had a stable for horses.

The cadets had been assigned to clean the stables. We had a roster for it but its significance wasn't really present. That duty was always pushed on to me. I didn't particularly hate it.

The horses were calm and they wouldn't pick on me or push me around. In a sense they were my only friends. We usually had an hour to ourselves during the day.

Mine was usually spent at the stables. Either looking at the clouds or talking to the horses. Though they weren't big on talking they were good listeners. A month had passed like this.

One day when I was sitting behind the stable, I noticed the stone wall in front of me. It had a hole in it. It was big enough to pass two hands through it.

However, it wasn't particularly the stone wall that caught my attention, rather it was the eyes looking through it. I approached the hole slowly afraid of who might be on the other side.

Deep brown eyes looked at me with their curiousness flashing widely within them. I waved my hand to see if they responded back and they did. I stepped back a little to see their whole face.

She had brown hair and was wearing a pink dress. Not too fancy, she seemed a local. Before I could say anything, she placed a note book in the hole for me to take. I took it and read it. I wasn't much educated but I could read and write for the most part.

My father had made sure that I know at least that much. The book said 'Do you talk to the horses?' She then threw a pen through the hole for me to write.

I replied 'I do, they are quite fun to talk to. They are really good listeners by the way.' A few seconds after she read my reply, I heard a bit of giggling like noise. It wasn't clear though.

“What’s your name? I am Laila.” she asked.

“Toffy.” I replied.

Laila, “That's a nice name.”

“You like it? I don't, people here bully me a lot because of my name. Even people from my village used to make fun of me. I am thinking of changing it.”

“Well, I don't think people would stop troubling you even if you change it. Though I hope you don't. I like it a lot.”

A smile spread across my face reading her reply. Before I wrote anything else, my sergeant's voice boomed like a bomb frightening both of us. I hurriedly stood in attention as he found me behind the stable.

I crumbled the paper in my fists, holding it tightly. I had never been scared as much as I was at the time. I didn't want him to take the paper away from me.

Luckily, he didn't find anything suspicious and ordered me to return back to my unit as training was about to resume.

The next day when I was attending to the stables, I was waiting anxiously thinking whether or not she'll come again. And just as I was doing that, I saw a paper ball fell through the hole.

I ran to take the paper and read it.

“How are you Toffy?” I looked through the hole only to find her smiling at me. And so, it began. We talked on a daily basis day after day. I wondered why she didn't spoke directly.

Maybe she was shy? I don't know, I didn't care.

I even volunteered to look after the stables extra time just to be able to talk to her. She lived in a farm house not much far away from here with her parents. Her village's name was Top Hill.

Born and bred here, she though like me hadn't stepped out of her village, she was much more aware of the harsh conditions of the country. There weren't many people her age here so she was usually by herself most of the time.

Just out of curiosity she had sneaked near the army camp and met me talking to the horses.

One day as our 'talk' through the notes continued my stomach growled. Laila was startled as she fell back.

“Are you that hungry?” She asked through the book.

I told her how my food was most of the time snatched away. After that I bade her goodbye for the day as my one hour was up.

The next day like any other I went behind the stable to meet with Laila. Little did I knew she had a surprise for me. She had brought an apple for me. I felt a bit reluctant to take it but she was too insistent on it.

From then onwards she brought a fruit for me every day. It was more than ever I could ask for. Time passed and though I didn't get much proper nutrition but the regular fruits helped me much.

My body was growing fine as I was getting better at fighting and the physical activities. Months after months had passed. Now I wasn't as much bullied as I was back at the time.

This place which I had previously perceived as a hell was now not much different from a heaven to me. The sergeant recognised my abilities and appointed me as a squad leader. It wasn't long since I turned 16 so this was a great achievement for me.

Sadly, happy times usually don't last. One day I found that we are to be deployed on the borders and infiltrate the enemy lines. It was too abrupt! This was supposed to happen 3 months from now.

We were supposed to move out at night. The camp was busy the entire day and sadly for me I wasn't able to go meet Laila behind the stables. It was night time and there was half an hour before our departure.

I went back to the stables to say goodbye to the horses. My heart felt heavy to say goodbye to them, I wonder if they felt the same or not? I'll never know.

I looked at the wall which separated me and Laila. it wasn't thicker than a few centimetres but to me it felt like we were in completely different worlds. Just as I was about to head back, I noticed something in the hole.

The hole which shined a ray of connection between our two separate worlds had three things. An apple, a letter and a small locket.

The letter said “I heard from some of my neighbours that the recruits are being deployed ahead of time. I figured that you might not be able to make it today. I suppose this is fate. I had wanted to tell you about it last week but I didn't want to make you feel sad. I am moving tomorrow. My family and I will be leaving the village and go to the city. Business is not good here, Papa says.”

I paused reading here; my heart fell even more. Composing myself I continued reading, “I wish we had more time but I am afraid we don't. This locket is a little heart of our friendship. Something to remember me by, I guess. It was the happiest moments of my life spending time with you Toffy. Though I suppose our paths separates here. I wish for you to live a happy life. Don't die out their soldier. Love, Laila.”

Tears strolled down my cheeks as I tried to console my heavy heart. This feeling that I was having in that moment it came like a flood and settled like a mountain not moving an inch.

I neatly folded the letter and kept it with me. I decided to save the apple for tomorrow. I took the locket which was a simple circle shaped. It opened upward showing the picture of her. Her brown hair having a slight curl near her shoulders, brown eyes containing unimaginable warmth and her wholesome smile.

I put the locket inside my jacket near my heart and just tried to imagine as if she was with me.

The war was ruthless, cold, horrific. There weren't enough words to describe it. For 3 years we fought. I made many comrades during the time and lost just as many.

However, my most close one would be Gerald. Our army had been forced to retreat in one of the forests near our borders where we clashed with the enemy. The enemy had called an airstrike on us.

This gave us no choice but to retreat from the area. The order was lost as our commander had already fallen. Everyone ran for their lives and so did I. My mind raced with my feet, and I prayed that no missiles drop on me.

And I think my prayers were answered. I stumbled and fell down. I looked back and saw him. Gerald was laying against a tree, injured as blood flowed from stomach. He was muttering for help but I didn't want to wait.

As I got up, I found my foot was clutched by him. He was barely conscious and I doubt that he even knew what he was doing. I tried to shook him off several times while saying sorry.

Finally, I was free and just as I took two strides forward, I saw an explosion go off not much far away as I took cover behind a tree. The sight of it horrified me, gripping my heart in fear.

But it also dawned on me... if I had just continued without falling over, that would have fallen on me. I was a coward and I still wanted to run away.

At the time it was inexplainable to me. Laila's kindness came to my mind. Before I knew it, I was closing his wound to stop the bleeding. I pulled him over my shoulder as I gave him a piggyback ride. Somewhere, somehow, she had influenced me.

I ran, even though I heard the explosions coming closer, I ran, even though I thought my lungs would give in, I ran, even though I almost couldn't feel my legs. Somehow, we made it to the safe area, where the troops retrieved us.

Gerald received the medical treatment which saved his life. We became really good comrades as we fought together in the war continuing the following year. We seemed to have been getting an upper hand on our enemies.

But our luck wasn't so good. We were to take out the leading commander of the enemy's main force and acquire one of their strongholds which would prove to be a cornerstone in our victory.

Things seemed to be going smooth, almost too smoothly as we failed to notice just when we had been captured and put into a large cell. We were beaten up and left there in the cold sleepless night with a small ray of moonlight coming from a barred window.

Gerald and I weren't together in this mission. The survivors who had been captured with me; I didn't know a single one of them. Everyone had been killed from my squad. There was only the sound of despair flowing in the atmosphere as we were to be executed on the following day.

As I lay alone on the cold floor looking at the moonlight, I only had one thought. It was of Laila. I didn't move much, it hurt my ribs and back. I was sure I had broken a bone or two if not fractured.

Only thoughts of Laila came to my mind. In this cruel world, she was the only one who had extended her warmth to me. I don't remember much about my mother; she passed away when I was 8.

Though there was something she said that had stuck with me ever since. “Every person encounters one such person in their life, who is their guardian, Angel. They could be anyone, they might be next to you and you won't even realize it.”

At the time I was too naive to understand what she said. But though my body throbbed with pain, my mind felt heavy with exhaustion, my heart seemed to have become a bit light with warmth. I knew she was the reason for it.

I slowly took the locket out of my pocket and opened it, seeing her. I wonder what she is doing now? Does she still remember me? Questions raced through my mind as I put the locket back near my heart and curled myself up shivering from the cold.

Some few hours later.

I don't know the time. I only heard some explosions and voices of men shouting in the distance. It was all blurry for me. The next thing I knew I was being carried.

When I woke up, I was in bandages and laid on a rug with several others. I looked around and found men from my army and another set of soldiers. Apparently, reinforcements had arrived from our allied country and thus they were able to capture the stronghold.

The fourth year went by and the fifth marked the year for our victory. It was a bittersweet time as people celebrated the peace and truce and at the same time mourned their loss.

I attended quite a few funerals. It was nothing short of a miracle that I survived. Everyone whom I met during the war and made close bonds with had all passed away except Gerald and a few others who didn't came out of the war without losing a limb or two.

When the war had ended, the remaining troops were being treated at an NGO's hospital nearby. I had to go for a few injuries. While I was there, I noticed the people there. Some were old, some were disabled while some were fit as a fiddle but only on the outside.

It was again an inexplainable feeling I had but I felt that I was too long exposed to all the hatred, despair, politics. I wasn't any saint; I had killed people. Though it was for my country, as a human, it shattered my morals.

I decided to volunteer at the NGO. Money wasn't going to be a problem for me as I would receive pension from the Government. Gerald left the country and went to run his father's company with him.

We decided to keep in touch. Who knew he was a misfit? Barred from the house, when the father heard about his son's valour, bravery and achievements he immediately called him back.

As I worked at the NGO, I under the guidance of the people there learnt sign language for the deaf and dumb. It piqued my interest as I had always wondered about it.

Laila never used to speak to me, we talked through the papers. I was afraid to ask the reason as I felt that she might be offended or be uncomfortable to tell me about it. She might eventually stop coming to meet me.

Looking back, I smiled at my naive young self. I know she wouldn't have done something like that. For someone who hadn't had proper education, I had developed a newfound love for books.

There was an old man named Mani. He was one of the residents staying at the NGO, always having a calm and wise vibe about him. Mr. Mani taught me a lot. Words which I couldn't comprehend, how to understand emotion and complex feeling filled scenarios.

Our relationship was pretty much like a teacher and a student's. We enjoyed each other’s company a lot. I worked at the NGO for two years while learning things from Mr. Mani. He knew a lot more than just reading complex books.

He was like a grandfather I never had and to him I was a grandson whom he hadn't lost in the war. We were close enough for me to tell him that I was sold to the soldiers to be trained to fought in the war.

When I mentioned my village, he seemed a bit surprised but soon returned to his calm wise self. I didn't think of much then but I suppose he realised something because of what he asked me to do later on.

I told him about Laila and how I believed she was my guardian angel. Even my various experiences in the war, I was able to share effortlessly with him.

Mr. Mani often used to tell me one thing again and again. It was, “'Your destiny will surely bring you happiness little Toffy, I believe a good person like you will never be wronged. Have faith.”

I never understood what he meant by it. Although I knew he told me that thing to console me, it never sits well with me. The war had surely left its deep claws in my heart. As soon as I told him that I wasn't that good a person, he would always laugh it off.

We were too close to be separated so abruptly. A few days after Mr. Mani had turned 87, he passed away. He was the only old one left from the time I had joined the NGO. It surprised me and brought gratitude for him in my heart after hearing his will.

He had left behind a book store for me. Though it didn't surprise me that he owned one given his love for books. I bade my farewell to the people from the NGO and moved to the neighbouring city where he had the bookstore.

I had decided to run the bookstore in Mr. Mani's name. But before that I had something to do. The last thing he asked of me in his will. I had decided not to visit him after the war.

I came to blame him as I suffered during the war. I returned to my village or at least what once seemed a village. It had already changed quite a bit with industrials, commercials and residential areas developing there.

I walked a bit around looking at how things had changed. Every now and then I caught a glimpse of the old times when I was here. Finally, when I reached where my house was supposed to be, it wasn't there anymore.

Some other house was sitting there instead. I kept standing outside the house trying to reimagine how things once were. I turned around to leave when suddenly someone called my name.

"Toffy! It's really you! Oh, good Lord! I never thought I'd see you again!" An old man with a young boy along his side, said to me.

Initially I was unable to recognise him but it suddenly struck me, he was one of the farmers living just a few houses away from us. He was usually travelling a lot out of the village so I hadn't seen him much and it took me a while to remember him.

Almost an hour later I was looking over my dad's grave. It was a public graveyard for the villagers who had died in the enemy's attack which occurred 7 years ago. Just a little while after I had been taken to the army camp.

Apparently, our village was a targeted by the enemies. The villagers were left behind to die. The country had been totally outmanoeuvred by the enemy and felt it was better to let them have the village instead of saving it.

Looks like my dad had somehow gotten the news beforehand. He at the last minute even managed to get me out of the village and off to the army camp. The money was just to show for me to hate him and so that I don't resist.

He knew I would be unwilling to part with him. Even in his limited time period remaining he got me out of harm's way. Military camp was the only place he could have send me otherwise I would have long died if I had become a beggar.

This all became clear to me after what that old man told me. He was at the time out with his grandson. Unfortunately, his son and his wife met the same fate as my dad's.

After paying my respects to him and sorting out my thoughts and feelings I went on to run Mr. Mani's bookstore. It was in the middle of a lively street bustling with different kinds of businesses, each corner having its own little story to tell.

Took me a while to set up but thankfully with some guidance note he had left behind; I was able to do it much faster. I made a few changes here and there but keeping it in Mr. Mani's preferences.

Soon months passed, months turned to 2 years. I had hired an employee to work at the bookstore. Young little chap he was and loved books just like me. It took a while but the business did good.

The bookstore had become my everyday life. I had raised some enough funds to open a cafe within the store too. I loved coffee and one of the only things I was good at. It was a hit.

Not long after someone with whom I was keeping in touch through letters came to visit me. Gerald suddenly surprised me with his sudden visit to the store. I was so happy when he came back.

Apparently, he was permanently shifting back in the country with his family and we were in the same city. It was nothing more I could've asked for. He met a girl he liked and was trying to make things work with her.

They came for their first date at my store, Helen was an avid book reader. It seemed the ideal place for his date. Coupled with my special exclusive service for Gerald, I think they had a good time.

Though I wasn't sure if it was a good idea since the next day I was in a bit of pickle. Gerald, "Come on mate, you're already 24. You aren't getting any younger."

"But why the double date all of a sudden? I thought you guys had a nice time." I asked.

Gerald, "Well we did, but you know these things take time, just do this one for me mate, the eating, travel I'll bear it all."

Gerald was now practically begging me. I agreed after a lot of his pleading. I wouldn't mind free food and trip. As for the girl I had made up my mind to clarify beforehand that my heart was set on someone else.

The next day came as Gerald and I picked up Helen and her friend. Gerald was quite rich after inheriting his father's business and so we had a car. Gerald sat at the front with Helen while I sat in the back with her friend.

There was an awkward silence between me and her while the couple in front chatted away like love birds with me speaking in between a little to tone down the awkwardness.

‘It takes time huh? That's what you said but now you guys are talking like you know each other from centuries.’ I thought. I immediately understood that it was Gerald playing a trick to get me to go out on a date.

We were going to an entertainment park which had opened up recently. Once we reached, we had to either walk in the park or we can use a horse carriage since the park was quite big.

We chose the latter. I was going to climb in with Gerald when the driver reminded us that it had space for only 2 passengers. Taking this opportunity, he climbed in with Helen while giving me a sneaky thumbs-up.

I rolled my eyes as we had to get on the next one. And like before the awkwardness had continued. But enough was enough. I decided to say something at least. As I turned around, I saw she was looking out the window.

This was the first time I looked at her property since the time we first met. She was a brunette with her brown hair falling down to her back. Her eyes seem to be glistening as the sunlight reflected on it.

Perhaps I was staring too intently for she caught me looking at her. Before I blurt something out in embarrassment, she suddenly pulled out a small book and wrote something in it.

“I am mute so I can't exactly talk to you.” I looked at her in surprise. No wonder the silence. I may have given her a surprised look more than I intended because she immediately wrote down.

“I told Helen to mention it beforehand, I suppose she didn't. I apologise for fooling you.” I smiled at her as I said in sign language “It’s alright I don't mind.” Now it was her time to be surprised.

“You know sign language?” she asked gesturing with her hands. I simply nodded. Thus, our conversation began. Originally, I had intended to clarify about my love interest but I held it off for later.

Talking with her somehow gave me a refreshing feeling and somewhat familiar?

Eventually our conversation reached about where we were from. She mentioned the name of a very peculiar village. Top Hill. The same village from where she was. It was just a possibility but it had surely arisen a spark of curiosity. My heart raced as my mind wrestled with itself to whether ask this or not.

“Did you by any chance used to give food to a boy named Toffy in your nearby military camp?”

There was a pause before she asked “How did you know?!”

My mind seemed to have gone blank as I couldn't believe myself. I slowly took out the locket with Laila's picture. I always carry it with me wherever I go. After all she is my guardian angel.

“Toffy?” She asked pointing towards me. There was a momentary silence between us when the driver suddenly called "We are here, sir, madam."

"Keep the carriage driving, tell Gerald we'll be taking our time." I said without turning.

18 months later.

Laila and I were finally getting married. It took me a lot to convince her parents but they came around and seemed to love our relationship. I glanced to the side Gerald was standing as my best man giving me a sneaky thumbs-up as always.

I smiled as I looked ahead and saw Laila coming towards me in her wedding gown with her father. As I looked at her my thoughts raced back to the events that happened to me since I was 15.

I realised that whatever bad, good happened to me, happened because it was meant to. The circle of life if I may call it had completed a whole circle giving me misery and as it did it also gave me Laila.

But then again it just as easily took her away and put me through the war. I understood the relevance of life there, even if a bit. I met people from different walks of life in the NGO. I managed to understand the true intentions of my father and cast away my misunderstanding.

I suppose this was what Mr. Mani meant by destiny would bring me happiness. And it did. Just as Laila and I were separated, we were rejoined again.

My circle of life had completed for me.

THE END

By Mohammed Ahmed