Freeze

By Ayisha Saniya Ambalavan

I am biting on skin at this point

I've run out of nails

all ten of them

my fingers sting, some bleed

yet I do not stop, nor concede

a habit wore down long past

one I should likely make my last

yet here I sit surrounded by nail bits

white shards scattered like glass

on my sheets the shade of forest grass

I sigh. I stop momentarily,

and dust the shards off completely

as I feel the worms of anxiety

take over inside of me

I sit back down in front of my screen and worry

for all the time spent biting constantly

hoping for a change to change me

sitting in the same spot hopelessly

so God please do forgive me

I swear I’m trying, mostly. 

- staring at my screen frozen like a deer in headlights watching as the oncoming car crashes into me, unable to move ‘Freeze’. 

By Ayisha Saniya Ambalavan