Fairy's Fairness

By M Santhosh Kumar

Life looks like a fairy tale to some of us. To some, a bed of thorns. We come to these observations diverging from a single point, Fairness. No matter what, at least once, we would have uttered this statement, ‘Life is so unfair to me.’ This statement seems to be true. But, we fail to look from a larger point of view and notice the surrounding plan as we have put blinkers to our visions. Everything seems to happen according to the ‘Big plan.’ What is the Big plan? Design of the universe or cosmos. As we have conscious mind, sometimes our plan aligns with the Big plan. Sometimes, it doesn’t. When it aligns, we become happy and excited about our life. When it doesn’t, we become sad and depressed. Let us question ourselves first. Is this behaviour fair from an objective view?

Let me draw an analogy. Let us consider our own self as salary or monthly stable wage and the pleasing events of our life as bonus. We clearly know that salary will be consistent (not considering the incidents of recession), bonus won’t be. But for sure, we will get considerable amount of bonus. Sometimes, not. Also, since life is intangible, today’s so called bonus will look like a loss tomorrow. Today’s loss will look like a bonus tomorrow. But, is life transactional? Coming back to our analogy, let’s focus on the salary, which was stated as consistent above. Even having said that, salary may even change into another form (next birth, if this is true) after some years.

After quoting all this, is it easy to drop the idea of fairness? This requires lot of patience and penance. Here comes the topic of free will, destiny, time and karma. Which is behind the Big plan? Most debated stuff!!! Is everything pre-programmed? If yes, then why we have to go through hell of la lot of suffering? To prove what? Chain of questions arise. Then, what is the purpose of conscious mind and human life? Don’t we have control over things in our life? Many have had these questions. But, some set out to find answers. Among which, very few find the answers. Among the very few, very few speak out. Most of them remain silent and observe. As human beings, we need simple solutions without much effort. Again, is this fair?

Another thing we all question is, certainty in life. Starting from human behaviour, human love (ego based), money, fame, life span, etc., looking at these, we can arrive to a conclusion that nothing is permanent. Even we know this, we act and behave unconsciously most of the times and get ourselves immersed in the delusion. Our minds and delusion are inseparable entities. It’s hard to separate. If separated, then we have the key with us. But, here comes the society. Even after crossing all inner barriers and when we decide to find the key, the ‘Society’ and its members won’t allow us freely to find our key. Because, society needs team players who follow the rules of the game, not the individuals who try to take diversion and find their own paths.

Keeping all these stuffs aside, one of the primary factors behind all these thoughts and doubts is the attachment towards many stuffs such as body, mind, identity, money, career, fame, partner, family, people, society, etc. We all are so engrossed in these attachments in such a way we rarely become even aware of these. So, we can categorise attachment as internal and external. Is attachment toxic? If yes, how to get rid of these?

Another question arises. Why should we detach ourselves from body, mind, people and things, which are given for our pleasure? Honestly, let us answer the question first, ‘Are these pleasures eternal?’ I would say no. As already said, nothing is permanent which includes pleasures too. Naturally, a question arises. Knowing all are temporary, why we keep on clinging to these? Before answering this question, let us answer another question, ‘Do we have the question of clinging all the time in our mind?’ No. It flashes occasionally, that too while facing a crisis. So, we can say it’s better to be like water drops on lotus leaf as one of the core factors for human suffering is attachment. Though the Big plan plays a major role, we have to make conscious effort to get rid of this. More than what happens to us, how we respond to those matters.

One of the most talked approaches towards life is ‘Go with the flow’ attitude. Let’s go around this attitude. Like the flowing river, we, human beings keep flowing in the river of life. This sentence seems to be very simple and easy to hear, right? Is it so? When we introspect deeply, the answer sees blurry as, fortunately or unfortunately, we have conscious mind which thinks rationally and needs logic. The underlying issue is the contrast between the flow of life river and flow (bundle) of our thoughts. Some people say, what we think we become. Sometimes, what happens differ from what we think. So, disappointments arise.

To be precise, blankness with fullness seems to be the one and only way to be contented while going with flow. Blank with fullness implies mindfulness with complete emptiness. Contrasting, right? Life is filled with contrasts. Being mind full is to be aware, alert and conscious of our actions and thoughts. Emptiness is freedom from bundle of thoughts, which is sticking to the past events or jumping to future anticipations. The combination of these two, mindfulness and emptiness, which seems to be contrasting, is the ultimate destination in the endless journey. Yes, the entire journey has no definite beginning and ending. Not this life journey, it is the ‘Eternal journey.’ So, do we have only this life or many lives? Some say yes and some, no. Instead of trying to find answer to this question, it will be better to focus on what we have ‘here and now’, that is, our current life.

The topics covered above will be so simple to read but we have to apply them instead of just reading for knowledge sake and vomiting them (definitely not in this write up, on a lighter note) during a gathering to show ourselves as intellectuals. Even though we deny, the trickiest part of ourselves, the ‘mind’, won’t let us free just like that. Here comes the major factor hiding behind all the topics. Because, most of us are slaves to our own minds.

This is an interesting game. Just imagine who we are if our minds are taken away completely. It appears to be a necessary evil, is it? So, we have to use our own mind to free ourselves from the same mind. Again, the contrast appears. Mind full with emptiness will make sense here. ‘Now or never’ is the only thought which should be reinforced again and again, in order to escape from the tricks that mind plays with us. We have to conquer it by using it. In simple words, we have to keep our minds in our control. The toughest part is, we can’t control it by force. We have to understand it completely and then, make it our best friend. By making it our best friend, we can make it behave according to our rules.

So, let’s revisit the most asked question about fairness. Answering the question about fairness with fairness and making fair efforts based on the same fairness will make our life fairly a fairy tale. ‘IS LIFE FAIR?’

By M Santhosh Kumar