Efforts Versus Destiny

By Dr Foram Parikh

Should I believe in the power of my efforts?

Or do I just leave it to destiny?

Should I plan things and step out to attain those and create a life of my dreams?

Or do I just sit back and let fate decide the reason of my being?

Do I have the liberty to dream and aspire to fulfil those?

Or do I have to let destiny decide what remains and who stays in my life?

What if one simple text of mine changes his mind and he wishes to come back?

Or should I let destiny take care of the reversal?

Should I guard my self-esteem and not double text him?

Or do I let kismet persuade my mind into doing the same, hoping things take a turn for the better?

Sometimes I wonder - what if I had said what I wanted to, but simply couldn't?

But at the same time, it does make me ponder - was it destiny's course to freeze the words in my mouth?

How stupid had I been in denying to meet him together with his family.

But if that shouldn’t have been the problem, then why had fate not put its fingers in my mouth and made me utter the same?

What if I had straightened my hair, just the way he wanted me to?

But again, did my fate gesticulate that to make me worry about his dominance?

Sometimes, I curse myself for being unable to pick up his mixed cues.

But at the same time, I blame destiny for making me fall for him, when we weren't destined to be together.

Had I paid heed to mumma's persuasion of not waiting for him, I think I would have been happier.

But why did fate not make other potential matches cross my path before I got his disguised denial?

Oh, now I do recall this one man cropping up repeatedly in my life; but to hell with that, I simply ignored him.

Still, why did luck not force his entry into my life, just the way it did with my man?

I still remember how he entered my life - unannounced. He pinged and pinged, till I melted. He pulled me into his life, and I let him sweep me off my feet. The first time I met him, I believed in the strength of destiny.

But then later, if he had to push me out of his life; why did fate make him a poignant memory of my life, and make me lose faith in the existence of fate?

All I can do, is set him free, and wait for his return.

But what if destiny directs him to nest somewhere else, and nestle in somebody else's arms?

I don't want to believe that all this was merely a plot to teach me about the uncertainties of life.

But then, why did God not tutor me some other way, instead of tearing my heart apart?

I wanted him to be my blessing.

But was destiny trying to make him the biggest lesson in disguise?

I do not want to lose faith, for I know my warmth and affection was what he used to die for.

But then, why did fate channelize his rebuttal in making things look bleak and dark?

My mind wants me to drop him off and move on.

But then why is destiny making my heart believe as if he's the one, and that I shouldn't lose hope?

I want to carry on waiting for him.

But what if kismet sends a better prospect down the line?

I want to believe that prayers change the course of destiny.

But what if fate makes God lend me a deaf ear?

Hope is what is fuelling my heart, for I want to believe in the magic of my efforts, and prayers.

But the writings of the Supreme are worrying me, because I can neither read them, nor change them.

By Dr Foram Parikh