EBONY

I have been taught to be insecure for my skin tone from the day I was born. Having a dark skin is like receiving so much of sympathy and teasing from a very young age itself. When a child is born, the first thing they hear may not be about the child’s gender; but their colour. People appreciate the parents for their new born baby, but parents with brown children get to hear the same appreciation with a slight sympathy attached to it. As I grew up, I used to hear my classmates and friends teasing me for my skin colour and it affected me very badly, as I was very young to handle such comments. Home is a haven where we hope to find support and strength. But, instead of such responses, I found my mother asking me to eat certain fruits, which she believed would make me fair or white toned. How can someone not be insecure when their family who by the way should be her strength and support is responding in an indifferent way. People ask me often, “how come you are so bubbly with such an ebullient personality?” I chose to act funny and energetic around people, so that they avoid focusing on my skin tone and rather look at my character. I don’t know why people tend to make a big deal about skin colour, if someone is having a darker tone. Why is it necessary to tease such people and disappoint them or hurt them by throwing their insecurities right on their face. I have heard my relatives teasing my father for his skin tone. I used to avoid facing them as I knew that I might be their next target. I have been running from my own relatives to avoid such situations. It was not easy for me as a child to handle such comments from adults and children of my age. Even now, I get to hear my cousins teasing me about my skin tone; but in a harmless way. I have heard men telling their pregnant wives, “let’s hope our baby isn’t black.” It is disheartening to see people prioritising skin colour over health of the baby. A person’s melanin content is not under his or her control, rather it is something natural. Biasing people based on skin tone affects that person’s morale and confidence.

While putting on a black dress, I used to hear comments like, “can’t see you, go change” or the discussion between my parents and the saleswomen on which colour will suit me better, so that I don’t look darker. I am a part of such discussions even at this age, when it comes to dress selection.

A year ago an Uncle came to me and teased me for the same. The teasing got out of hand and I reacted. He was elder than me and I knew that I had to respect him. So, I told him, “Uncle I am dark when it comes to my skin tone, but your heart is darker than mine”. I felt bad after saying the comment considering my respect for him, but people sometimes compel us to say mean things. I still get to hear comments on my colour, but nowadays, it doesn’t affect me like it used to before, as I am now used to it and know how to deal with such people. I know that I have to be strong when living under such societal pressure; I made up my mind to not think of comments like, “I wish my skin were lighter” or “My skin is unattractive”, and rather believe that “My dark skin makes me different from others and that makes me special”. I believe that this thought might help me further to deal with toxic people in the society.

Our society is so much into racism and body shaming that people care less about others feelings. It cannot be denied that colourism has a negative effect on all genders. However dark women are mostly compelled to aspire fair skin tone; as the society we live in is not yet ready to accept them the way they are, instead they are introduced to certain skin whitening products to get them the best matrimonial alliances.

In my deed each one of us are different and special the way we are. Let us rejoice our uniqueness. I also believe a major overhaul in societal thinking is required to eradicate colourism

By Amana Nazar