Delusional Madness

By Khalelia Ahmad

“Define madness, something like how the 

late Shakespeare portrayed in his plays, 

And Hamlet would know, how the heart 

burns for a person against the mind, 

One which was conditioned to be skipped,  

overlooked, and the hopeless cells sway, 

Wanting to give in, let's forget what people  

say, listen to the wind, take me away.  

 My mind more guarded than before to  

keep the loving thoughts at bay, or astray, 

Whatever it takes to keep the heart from  

taking the reins away from my brain, 

From driving my entire existence insane  

but I'm already there, it's down the drain, 

Already jumped off the plane, no safety  

net or parachute, I'm still in great bane.  

 I pretended long enough to convince  

myself it was meaningless balls of fluff, 

Fairy floss, sweet and fun, how the  

flavour dances on the tip of my tongue, 

I swore off from this, said to all my  

friends “thank God it's finally gone,” 

But I'll read this later and I know I'll 

think “what on earth have I done?!”  

I thought my mind had won, I should have  

known, I've been here before, I lose again, 

The heart is steering and going crazy, I  

think she's drunk on an idea that's hazy, 

And it starts with you, you sip my drink?  

Taking place upon the space that I drank, 

Where I placed my own lips, we might as  

well kiss, I won't complain, it's hit or miss.  

 And now I'm convinced there's another  

universe where we've already done this, 

That between you and me, “us” is a norm  

that just exists naturally, now I wonder, 

Would it be a complete bliss to experience  

this, at least one time? Will you be mine? 

A cliche line, I know, but it’s worth a try to 

let the fairytale wings finally take flight. 

 I saw the way you looked me in the eyes  

that night, through the rear view mirror, 

Like you couldn't stand a minute without  

seeing into my soul, how it made me quiver, 

If I'm cold next time I give you permission  

to pull me in close to make my shiver leave, 

I pretend to be repulsed but believe I'll  

love it, I'll swoon until I forget to breathe.  

 Define madness, because I'm going mad,  

Hamlet and Ophelia would be so proud,  

Jane Austen would love me for the way I  

long to hear you laughing loud, it's sound, 

To hear a voice that once sang to me and  

made me blush, heart pumping in a rush, 

You make me mad, and I'll say it with a  

smile, you just make life bearable for me.  

 Even if you're only here for a little while.” 

By Khalelia Ahmad