Dear Stranger

By Neelofer

Dear Stranger,

I think I have something to say to you and I won’t charge for it. Sit back and read before you plot the next best way to express your holy intentions of providing unconditional love to the next woman you see.

First, I have a question to ask. As kids, were you threatened to offer something in return for the electric car you craved for? Were you told that you’d be able to score high in your subjects if you drool all over your teacher? No? Then what went wrong, is your testosterone level screwing up with your brain? If it is, we understand.

Here, consider the pain that you guys go through while you’ve chosen to throw love out of your pockets at every mark of beauty and exchange your bodily fluids in return:

• You’ve got to move out of your own skin and get into one that believes in the unseen, unfelt, Santa-like presence of Love, which is even more terrifying than having to make yourself a wholesome supper

• You’ve got to please your lady with compliments, gifts and undivided attention (I’m talking of the attention that is reserved for cricket, football and porn)

• This may take you anywhere between a week to a year to more, depending upon the person you’re aiming at. The ones who fall for the trap quick and easy are either playing the same cards as you or are too innocent or inexperienced to understand the difference between a real smile and a lusting one

• You’d have to lie more than you think, which some of you do anyway, the pathological liars would not have a problem here, since you guys get into believing your own lies owing to the fact that you do not understand any other way of functioning. But the ones who aren’t good at it, would have to spend a lot more mental stamina in plotting your moves and making sure none of your secrets fall on her ears through common friends or the society in general

• When you finally get into bed and win over your lost confidence for the next few days, you’ll realize that it wasn’t worth the effort. She’s madly in love with you already, the pressure of constantly belonging to one person and answering calls every day to tell her you’re fine and you’ll be reaching home isn’t your style. The life-threatening messages of ” you haven’t said, I love you in days” and “I want to move in with you” will make you want to slit your throat open. Some of you might even turn to alcohol believing it to be some kind of a genie, like, you gulp in a bottle or two and I’ll make your girlfriend (sex-friend) as emotionless and heartless as you

• Some of you might even pull it through until the last fight happens where you either empty a bar and muster the strength to tell her that you were an asshole and you are going to be one all your life or you manage to dramatize it with the “this works every time” stint of getting your parents or your first-love (first sex friend) or your ex in the picture. Some men go a step beyond and turn it all onto her. The blame-games are the best.

• Remember the night after the break up (planned break up)? It does feel good, doesn’t it?

• Remember the night after? It feels like you’d die if you don’t screw another body tonight

• And the next round of hunting begins and you know what happens then

Look around, do you really think you need to sell love or the idea of love for sex. You don’t.

Ever heard of the phrase, “To each his own” - Try it. I know a lot of books and movies and opinions floating around support the fact that men and women are different. But the fact is that, we are humans first. While some of us might crave for our own idea of love, marriage, relationship or sex in our own way, we do understand how your physical desires can take a toll on your state of being. We experience it too.

The next time you think you need to do something about it, please look for people who think, act and treat sex just like sex. Such women exist. They do.

Meet the one’s you like, praise them as much as you like, flirt if you will but when you know you need something more than just looking at each-other with mushy eyes and you do not intend to wrap it up with a relationship commitment, tell her that.

Sounds difficult? It isn’t, trust me. Women who understand their needs, like men who can be honest about what they want and how do they want it. These encounters might even turn out to be some of the best encounters of your life. For Women, who do not appreciate it, would still be grateful for not wasting her time and emotions that could have been put to a better use, if not for you.

To the readers, if you’re a guy, I don’t believe in generalizing anything. No, this wasn’t for you, if you do not belong to the tribe. Hoping for it to reach a few fat- heads that need to hear it from somewhere.

And if you’re a girl, what can I say, pass it on to the ones who cannot understand the difference between falling in love and lowering your standards. After all, we as kids weren’t taught to be blind towards the fire that lights up our house are equally capable of burning down our safe place.

Don’t wrap sex in love to get laid; you’re ruining it for the ones who want to experience their idea of companionship in their own way.

By Neelofer