Covid: The Anti-Aging Era

By Ayn Mawaddat (Zainab Shahzad)

"Being an environmentalist, granna what simple steps would you recommend for pollutant free air?" Armain asked his grandma while working on his assignment.

Granna is a true nature lover. She believes sustenance of flora and fauna is more imperative than the sustenance of human race.

"More trees, lesser population and a lot of Covid." She replied,

Armain looked at her in surprise gesturing if she would care to explain.

"We should be thankful, we get to live on the charity given to us by the trees. And this population explosion is nothing but human greed. I wonder how much of a task it is to take a precaution? "Few minutes of pleasure and an entire life of pain." She grumbled.

"Oh okay! Granna unwanted information. Armain interrupted. And does that mean I'm pain to you?"

"To your father. And your father certainly was to me. Moreover, a single child is okay, but have you seen the Rajanis? I mean 5 kids in your generation. Isn't that a lot too much? I think I need to be vocal before they boast on planning the sixth. They're too greedy to want a lot of earth to themselves."

"Calm down granna, that's their personal matter. By the way, would you care to elaborate the Covid point?"

"The Covid era was the anti aging era for nature and us as well - the grass was indeed greener everywhere. The lockdown meant no chemical use - no factory wastage - no pollutants. Now do I simplify further?" She asked.

"And if I'm not wrong it meant lesser population too." Armain added.

"Oh! That advantage comes handy!"

"Wise steps and a lot simpler. Phew! Can't write these though." Armain said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm still looking for 'simple'. This is more than simple thanks! I don't think other than planting trees there's much diy my class can do!

He imagined what distributing precautions would be like. Then shunned it away. "I'm really not looking forward to any special attention from my teacher. She anyway 'loves' me enough." Armain said sarcastically.

"I know." She chuckled. "You've a knack for acquiring uninvited attention."

"Granna, the last time she complimented me using the adjective 'animal' was your idea. Please don't pitch your ideas to her. That makes her highlight me even more. And that is a lot of highlight."

"So what's wrong if she called you an animal. I'd take it as a compliment." Granna said intending her pun.

"Would you?" Armain raised his right brow and looked at her with a subtle smile.

"Animals don't pollute the air, humans do. Animals don't litter the earth, humans do. Animals don't use plastic, WE - humans do."

"So?" Armain asked twisting his palms wanting to know what she wanted to conclude.

"So there's no pride in being human. We should be proud in being animals. Now do I simplify further?"

"Granna, are you for real?" Armain thought his grandma had lost it.

"Do you understand animal language? I do. I've heard them abuse." She exaggerated.

"I'm sure you must have. What was the abuse? Human?"

"See. You finally know where I'm getting at. Humans it is."

After a pause she added, "what do you think a deer after escaping a tiger must boast of to his herd?"

"Was a close shave?" Armain guessed.

"Was a 'cluck'-ing close shave. You know, who a cluck is?

"Ah! Granna I'll research it. Now let me focus on Covid being anti-aging."

The deer called names in his language. Let me tell you son tiger in their world is an adjective of respect.... He escaped the 'bloody son of a homo-sapien."

Armain showed a thumbs up. This was his strategic approach to end a futile conversation. The last time he arguably discussed with his grandma the evolution of technology being a boon to mankind, she ended on the note that mankind is soon gonna be impotent. So he knew how it is with her. She could dive into the depths of the southern end of the Mariana Trench to prove her point of view.

He probably would write the article on environmental issues based on his research rather than quoting his grandma's ideologies. He sure had understood covid was an anti aging era for nature and humans as well.

By Ayn Mawaddat (Zainab Shahzad)