Choices

By Nebil Divay

Choices are what shapes our life. At each point in our life, we are provided with choices and the decisions we make on each of them dictates how our life will turn out. And a funny thing about choice is that, at the time of making one, we are unable to see the full picture, we don't see the consequences of it. But bad choices aren't always bad,that's what teaches us the best of lessons and lessons thus learned will never be forgotten. So I am writing about a choice that I made in my life that I believe is what made my life take a sharp turn.

Being born in a small lower middle class family in the 90s in a third world country, most of the things that the newer generation could take for granted was a luxury for us. Toys and Foods are what makes childhood most memorable, right ? But here, affording good quality toys was just a dream for our family. We would always make toys from anything we picked up. And the thing about childhood is you are content with what you have.You feel complete even with all the missing parts. Now as if the lack of wealth wasn't a problem enough, I was born in a family where parents were always fighting. I never knew that the visuals that you see,the emotions that you feel at that point of our life imprints deep inside us. Only when I had to fight those wounds while I grew up ,I realised taking away the childhood from a person is equal to taking away the life out of a person. It denies him stability and securedness. Once when me and my brother came back from school,we saw our mother lying on the kitchen floor still. We panicked and started to shake her,but didn't get any response from her. We really thought we had lost her. The fear that pierced into me on that day ,I can't forget that even if I try. For a few minutes ,me and my brother were crying out on the top of our voices with any strength we had left in us. Turns out she was only unconscious from being beaten by father. I can comprehend all these now, but for a major part of my life, I couldn't come out from that day. Later on, on another horrible night, my father with all the anger he had, decided to commit suicide. We were in bed sleeping when our mom woke us up. We could hear the voice of our father struggling to find breathing in the rope he was hanging on. The sound of a man who could see death in front of him. For his luck,the branch broke down and he was rescued. Such are the memories that come to my mind,when I hear the word childhood.

My mother got divorce and for the first time in our lives, we started to live peacefully. For boys, I feel ,they need a father for learning a lot of things in life. A father is the one who the child looks up to while they learn how to deal with other people, the way the world is viewed, how to be confident, how to deal with setbacks and failures. My mother did a good job in raising us,she didn't let us know what starving was.She always gave importance to our education and made sure we are not behind in any area for the lack of a parent. I am so grateful to her for raising me. But there are things she couldn't provide us,things that are very important in the nurturing of a child nevertheless. She did whatever she could do, crossed boundaries that no one else would do.Just that it wasn't complete enough for a child

I was sent to a residential military school when I was 10,which you would feel is the turning point of my life. But it isn't. It just added injury over insult. For a child who was tormented from early childhood,the experience of staying away from home and building a life and personality beyond that was so overwhelming. When I completed my education and came out,I was a totally confused person knowing nothing about this world. It made me depressed. Literal depression,Clinical depression that can only be overcome with medicines and professional help. In retrospect, all these bad experiences and my own lack of knowledge made me take the biggest decision of my life. That, my friend, is the turning point in my life. My friends and I started a business venture. I was at the centre of the business formations. It taught me things no one ever taught me. It gave me revelations on how people are and how people behaved in various situations. I learned how to deal with people and not to be afraid around a crowd. I learned so many life skills like cooking, electrical works, welding , driving,social skills to name a few. I realised my strengths and weaknesses from it. Suddenly I was confident of doing not one but a lot of jobs. I learned about money and how it works.I understood how both hard and easy it is at the same time to make money. In a way, my business was both my child and the father I never had. I raised it and it raised me. And taught me all the things I was missing in life. Now at this point in my life, starting a business haunts me with its real problem of uncertainty. But if given a choice again ,I would still choose business again and again for what it gave me, can never be measured or weighed, it can only be felt.

By Nebil Divay