Boundaries - By Miss Surya Shekhawat

Written By: Miss Surya Shekhawat

Category: Essay

Competition: Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Miss Surya Shekhawat contributes a thought-provoking essay titled "Boundaries" in the Essay category of the Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. This insightful piece delves into the concept of boundaries, exploring their vital role in maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. With an emphasis on self-awareness and the importance of inner work, Shekhawat challenges common perceptions and highlights the necessity of boundaries for personal growth and emotional health.

About the Work

In "Boundaries," Miss Surya Shekhawat addresses a nuanced topic with clarity and depth. She presents boundaries as essential, yet often misunderstood, elements in relationships. The essay underscores the importance of self-reflection and communication in setting healthy boundaries. Shekhawat's exploration is rich with introspection, inviting readers to reconsider their own boundaries and the balance between self-care and interpersonal connections.

Boundaries

Original Submission by Miss Surya Shekhawat

Why Boundaries Begin With us

Subtitle: Difficult but not negotiable

Whenever we hear or say this word, the basic image that comes to our mind is distance without love and care. We may have a negative perspective about this word. As we know, everyone has their own way of seeing things, which is heavily influenced by their bitter experiences, unconscious patterns, habits and most importantly their environment and surroundings.

And the most important thing we all need to remember consciously is that boundaries are needed even in our closest relationships - be it with a partner, child or parents. It is all important to protect the beauty of that relationship without burdening each other and being accountable for our own thoughts and actions. Because boundaries are not rules for others, it is a self control - knowing what we can accept and engage with happily and willingly, without losing ourselves in the process.

To understand this better, we first need to know what kind of boundary we are talking about and what we are trying to protect. It can be healthy, soft or rigid boundaries depending on our personality type. We can build boundaries in various areas of our life like- physical, emotional, mental, material or time and energy.

If we look at our life or the lives of people around us, most of us fall somewhere between either soft (too open) or rigid (too closed). But why so? It’s not that having healthy boundaries is difficult, it’s not - but it requires self understanding, reflection, acceptance,change and consistency at a deeper level. It requires constant inner work so that it becomes a part of us effortlessly and without causing unnecessary hurt.

It also requires a lot of healthy communication, expressing ourselves and also listening. But why does it feel hard or heavy, even just thinking about having healthy boundaries with people close to us? What are we really afraid of? That is why it requires a lot of inner work to first understand ourselves - understanding the list of fears we are living with in our minds.

We can’t keep making other people happy and end up being miserable ourselves. It’s true, and to protect ourselves we need to have healthy boundaries. Boundaries are something we say to ourselves, not to other people - that “I can be a kind person with a good heart and still say no, because it’s needed.” We need to choose what is important to us and on our priority list. Not everything that is an emergency or a priority for other people is ours to handle. They need to sort their things and we need to sort ours first. It is simply about not burdening ourselves with everyone else list - that is our responsibility to recognize.

So, setting boundaries can be very uncomfortable. It may look selfish to others, may disappoint those who had unlimited access to us before, and not everyone is going to understand or support this new version of us.

And sometimes, the discomfort pushes us further than we intend. When we go into survival mode to protect ourselves - maybe after a painful fight, emotional trauma or our own patterns of overreacting - what we do is build a huge wall around us, and not just with that specific person but mostly with everyone. In this whole process, we forget to calm down and regulate our nervous system, to find healthy ways to create a protective space around us, or to observe our own patterns and trigger points. It requires a deeper level of inner work, noticing every minute detail of our actions and reactions.

Which is why starting small and starting inward is the only way that actually works. We can start with ourselves - setting boundaries with self first, deciding how much access we are going to give ourselves. One at a time, maybe emotional boundaries first or whatever feels most needed. If it feels heavy, which it will, it’s okay to pause, calm down and sit with that moment - but not quit. Because through this whole process we will discover a whole new side of ourselves, one that may surprise or even shock us. The only thing we need to do is accept it all - the good and most importantly the bad or selfish parts - without using that acceptance as a justification for ego or selfishness. The more we observe ourselves, the more answers we find about how to make this boundary thing work in ways that are genuine and effective.

It is very simple and straightforward - if we are not changing, we are simply choosing.

Thanks for reading!

About the Competition

The Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar celebrates diverse voices and creative expressions from around the world. This esteemed platform invites writers to showcase their literary talents across various genres, fostering a vibrant community of artists. Participants engage in a shared journey of exploration, reflection, and storytelling, making it a cherished event in the literary calendar.

Thank you, Miss Surya Shekhawat, for your thoughtful essay "Boundaries." Your participation in the Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 adds a valuable perspective on the significance of boundaries in personal relationships. We appreciate your contribution and look forward to seeing more of your insightful writing.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.