Blackhole Heart

By Parineeta Habib

Entrapped in my head,

Try to escape but end up digging my self a hole endlessly deep,

deeper and deeper I go , lays the madness at its core,

I lash out through and through,

Raging ceaselessly in estrangement for a breakthrough

Maze of my mind, one of a kind,

mending the broken fragments of my fractured labyrinth, how unending-

relentlessly fixated mind and maddening cries

my Heart and soul groans

Torn between wanting everything and nothing,

my pride or my heart,

my morality or my desires,

my elitism or my soul,

my sanity or my illuminated dreams- what a sore to boar-

No way to break free of this illusion

when will I find my restitution

With delusion I open my self the door to escape it all,

Knowing all to well I’ll never walk in at all.

Dosing and downing myself in midst of my madness,

my mayhem, my melancholy, my danger

Why do I keep the door open long enough for my demons to enter.

They help I yelp digging a deeper abyss,

One I have no desire to escape.

For worse or better-

I'll walk through the resistance like a mad hatter

A little soft shadow that might bring more colour to my life,

Deepening the hues of my complex tapestry

A hint of tainted love,

In the depths of a icy berg

I thrust it away in the abyss of my hollow heart,

How unbeating unfeeling unthinking

gives me no meaning reminiscing

the colour she used to bring my shadow,

how do I bring me back

Back to my lost reality- my lost home- my lost sanity

it shatters me, scatters me in brittle pieces shoved away

In the bitter void between my soul and hers.

By Parineeta Habib