Between The Lines

By Jaanya Vijh

It feels like the story of a book

I already knew the end to

A book we never started reading 

But I knew it was the best thing that ever happened

Even if I only imagined it

Even if it was only me who tore apart the pages

Trying to erase any proof

Of something that never even existed

Only in my mind

But god, I'm so embarrassed 

That I mistook your kindness

Your love and affection

For something that couldn't've been more

We're hanging in the middle

The pages are stuck together 

Maybe that's why I only read between the lines 

Of text that wasn't even bold enough 

hoping it would entail

A clue, a hint, or just a sign from your mysterious mind

Insurmountable love

Enough to be friends

Not enough to fall in

Ten years later

I'll confess all that I felt

Knowing the answer to my tremendous devotion

Because twice I made the mistake

And twice my mind had to scold

Told my heart exactly 

Where any possibility would lead us

But I've never been good with words

And just like for my feelings

There aren't enough words to articulate

The shame I feel

When I heard another silent rejection 

Maybe when we're older

Before, I had to twirl to the songs of 

celebration 

I'll finally catch you alone

In a clandestine manner of speaking

You'll confess you felt something too

Because we were perfect

But at the wrong time

By Jaanya Vijh