Best/worst year ever

By Steven Ramthanmawia

https://youtu.be/gF7ugKwORgw

Met with a terrible a loss few months ago

Soul-seaching with confusion more than ever before,

It's not the specific event that took me off.

It feels like Something more foretold,

When you're running circles how else can it go?

But thats a whole lengthy verse for another poem.

The overbearing weights have taken their toll,

Maybe cause my plans fell flat and fold

when its its time to unfold

Maybe it's cause planning for it

is all I've done for.

The dream was to tell my stories,

share my humor and vision through animation.

Met with no choice but to take up bachelor

As I'm stuck with

Responsibilities and such

So here here i am at college,

a pessimist much.

For the early part

believed it was a waste of time.

Selfish enough to find distractions

to waste my time

Seek out for a girl's love that I'll call "boo".

But I really was tongue tied

at the first sight of you

Something about you makes you stand out,

Your equisite features,

Your big round eyes,

Glasses that fits yours face just right,

making crow's blush with a glare,

any outfit you rock makes you glow perfect,

browish hair just not enough to be called red.

No one else even comes near.

Second time I saw her

I asked her for lunch

She said "why not"

We had a talk at sunfall

Told me she's not bothered with romances

Thats where I saw it a challenge

My idea of it was red herring,

Wheel-barrowing to take off at first

I later understood that you don't want to get hurt,

I just assumed if you stuck around

some real feelings might surface

Finally asmassing the courage

to confess my feelings;

Things went smoothly,

way more than a drug dealing.

Want to show you off back in campus,

as they can never comprehend

this feeling that I'm getting,

Is this the happily ever that I'm after?

You never know if it's cold water

lest' you put your toe in the bathtub.

I'll officially crown this the best and worst year ever

We'll be growing surely,

All good things take time but we know it

Is that optimism from me that I'm sensing?

Maybe I'll give it a chance after all is said and done-

which is the case

Better than being a blithering basketcase.

Now that I got you, personal checklist ticked

bloating ego kicks in, desire fulfilled

Always taking the road of superficial,

perhaps it is Intimacy I fear

The guilt starts stemming

wonder if you should be with someone else

Someone that really cares,

not just for your beauty and lustrous hair,

or his sick and twisted plot

to make his life better.

Oh well there it goes,

I should've known better

Selfishness ain't taking us to a greater state,

Despite raising my status by having you at bay,

showboating isn't really what I'm known for,

Few months after our Valentine's day,

Covid's on the door

What a great time to put this momentum on hold.

As I wrestle with my morals,

I've decided to let you go.

By Steven Ramthanmawia