Behind The Velvet Curtains

By Gauri Bansal

A very well-known play rolled out on the stage

and yet the ending was uncertain.

I was still one of the audiences

but this time one behind the curtains.

I saw the characters prepare

colour their cheeks

paint their lips

make their hair.

And the scenes merged into each other

people came, smiles faked, props thrown, passed by.

I never expected my presence to be noticed

a mass of stiff postured, manmade Catcher in the Rye.

You returned from your part exhausted

asked me to help you set the scene

we arranged chairs and tables and  flowers

I had only ever watched

It was terrifying and exhilarating to be seen.

Every morning you'd wake up

and hurriedly start to put on your make up

with time I realized

as we unknowingly shared curves and bends

that you were tired not of the cameras

but tired of acting for your friends.

I didn’t care about the story anymore

any of those warning, contract issuing files.

I had found my place in a place so accidental

a moonlit gathering of sinners and selenophiles.

We had read of the universe and its wonders

from books taken off of dusty shelves

I had known that people are flesh blood and blunders

but never that they are universes in themselves.

time gave us feathers to keep warm

time gave us the courage 

to brave through the storm

you took away my vision

in exchange for a golden insight

you pointed out my constellations 

when I felt like a scattered night.

So when your nights feel scattered 

do you still think of me then

as something more than

a spineless ghost with a pen?

and do you regret turning 

my eyes to glass and my heart to stone?

realized that you never knew

but were the only one

who could’ve ever known.

And did your knees tremble 

as we all lined up to go

for the award ceremony

at the ending of the show?

I never could match 

the reverberating cadence 

a test of my strength 

a test of your patience

we were trying to run a marathon 

with flailing untied laces

existing in hushed failing songs

and snatched and severed embraces.

It only hit me now

what the contract had warned

and onto me it mercilessly dawned

why I had been made to be

so glittering and gauded 

I stepped on the stage

the crowd applauded.

And just like your orchids

wilted right before my eyes

and just how half-truths are nothing but

unaccounted for and unaccountable lies

the way I'd been foolish

when I should've been wise

I did have a role to play

and my role was that-

my role was that of the consolation prize.

By Gauri Bansal