An Indian girl's dream

By Neha Agrawal

Long before she was able to even open her eyes, she was informed that she was a girl, a weakling. Long before she took her first step, she was told her life was within the four walls of her house. Long before she opened her mouth to speak, she was told silence was the virtue of a good girl. Long before she could fly, they cut her wings. Long before she was even able to dream, they crushed her dreams.

Or did they?

Her eyes were a shimmery grey-illuminated by her dreams, her aspirations. Her smile was weary, but still held secrets to her inner strength. She was fire in full rage disguised as a spark. She was optimism crushed by her own folk’s pessimism. Poetically, she was a violet by a mossy stone. She was strength and hope bounded by the society’s substandard and illogical disregard towards her gender. She was the future prominence shackled by the present society’s narrow-mindedness and underestimations. She was an adventurous spirit chained by her society with bullshits regarding her own safety. She was an Indian woman.

Born in a remote Indian village to a lower middle class family, she had a simple childhood. As a child, she loved chasing butterflies in the open field; little did she know that she was learning to chase her dreams too. Growing up, she found the taboos imposed on Indian girls suffocating.

“Why can’t I go into the woods with father, ma, like him? He’s younger than me.” she asked regarding her brother, who was permitted to go on a hunting trip with his father and uncles.

“He’s a boy.” Came the reply as if that said it all.

The seeds of rebellion had sprouted in that instant. She promised herself she would go into the wild one day and the whole world would sing glory of her bravery.

She learnt that she loved photography, was a natural at it when her high school had presented her with a camera on achieving the highest marks in the district. From that moment on, her adventure had initiated, though it would be long before she would realize it.

She also made a shocking discovery about herself- she wasn’t interested in portraits but her passion lay in the wild. Pursuing a career in wild life photography became her new dream.

The exploration and realization of dreams was the biggest adventure an Indian middle class girl can face. She knew there will be obstacles, protests, boycotts even but she was ready to face them all. So, in secret, she sent some snap shots she had taken during her secretive visit in the forest near her village, to an eminent world class wild life photographer.

Nobody was as surprised as she herself was, when she received a letter of admiration and tickets to France from him. Her family save one was too busy getting furious at her audacity to think of such an outrageous thing to be surprised.

“Let her go, let her explore whatever she wants to.” A small but strong voice came from behind her. It was her mother.

“But-”

“She won’t live her life in shackles like we did. Let her break-free.”

The determined look of her mother had silenced them all.

So began her adventure-her journey in exploring her dreams, herself. She wasn’t to know then that her journey would become an exploration of women empowerment in India one day.

The small village girl who never had travelled even in the neighbouring village on her own flew not to just another city, state or country, but another continent all alone. If this wasn’t an adventure in itself, then the word adventure should be redefined.

Exploring a new culture, a new language had become her newest adventure. Exploring new insights, new viewpoints of her mentor became the silver lining for her-rest of all was a dark reality where her father had disowned her.

Her journey continued in France, where she interned for three years under her mentor-her rigorous hard work and zeal impressing everyone. Her adventure then took her to Australia where she had her first taste of fame. The photo she took there of a kangaroo delivering her baby made it to the top finalist in the monthly contest held world-wide by the International wildlife photography Institute. Her photo was highly acclaimed and applauded.

She was soon contacted by the Discovery channel as her photos of the wild were featured in a special documentary. The team was so impressed by her photos that they offered to do a documentary on how she took her shots of wild life. She agreed.

It was now five years since her journey had begun. Never once had she gone back to India, her native place. Never once had her father spoken to her, she had come to realize he never would. She started feeling homesick and restless at the realization.

Suddenly the risks she took in taking wild life shots increased ten- fold times. It was during one such shot that she had her first near experience of death.

They were in Amazon rainforest where she had already taken some risky shots of dangerous bullet ants, Southern American Rattlesnakes during which she was almost bitten and the piranhas. This time her goal was to take a shot of the deadliest Jaguar found in the Amazon forest, mid-spring in the air.

She wanted to take that shot not from far, but from the position and angle of the prey. She wanted to catch that arrogant expression of the cat right before it jumped on the prey and finish it, she told her crew. Her crew was astonished.

“You realize this might be a tricky photo? What if you end up as the prey itself? Surely we can use some goat or stuff as bait putting a remote controlled camera?” the cameraman told her.

“I cannot. It won’t be like my shot. Plus remote cameras won’t give me the desired photo.” She shrugged him off.

She didn’t tell him that she was doing this, taking so much risk just for one thing-an acceptance of her strength from her father, her family.

The day of the dreaded shot had finally comes. About ten of the crew were given tranquilizer gun to handle the Jaguar if things go out of control. She herself had two injections tied on both her thighs.

She lay sprawled on the ground waiting for the cat to show up. It was her theory that she would have better timings, shot and chances if the stage was already set and she didn’t have to select one in hurry and worry. The crew was all far, too far to actually rescue her if needed, she knew. She also knew that one thing gone wrong would mean the end to her.

She knew her mother would be devastated by her death but did wonder if her father would accept her dead body for the funeral. All the villagers would then give instance of her tragic death to the new dreamers, new girls that girls should never try to be equal to men.

Her thoughts ceased when she heard a slight scratching on the ground. She couldn’t make the direction but she was sure of it. She informed the crew of it through the microphone. The crew got alert.

The Jaguar was now in her sight. Strangely, she felt a thrill, an excitement, not fear on his arrival. She was waiting for him to come and jump on her. Her hold on her camera grew tight. The screeching sound of the Jaguar’s paw was soon near her.

“Now.” She told herself.

The Jaguar sprung in the air to land on her when a flash was seen with a clicking sound. Almost all the crews were ready with their tranquilizer gun but they were not needed. A single howl was heard as the injection she was holding pierced through the cat’s skin. The Jaguar looked at her as if in confusion and amazement then fell on her, unconscious. Then it was her scream of joy that echoed the rainforest.

To nobody’s wonder, her shot of ‘A Jaguar in mid-spring’ won the best wild life photo of the year. All of sudden she had become a celebrity.

Indian media-both print and social had gone wild with the declaration-Indian daughter brings pride and award to the nation. A small remote Indian village girl outsmarted them all, they said.

As she had accepted her award, a bout of tears had escaped on her cheeks. She had explored her inner strengths and achieved a high that would be talked about for a long time. But she still felt incomplete and unhappy.

So when her alma mater had invited her into the village for a felicitation ceremony, she had agreed. The visit to her home was long over-due after all.

Her village had welcomed her in a red carpet setting; the mouths that had criticized her boldness changed their tune. They all couldn’t stop praising her now that she was a success. Her mother was there to support her once again but her father was a no-show. She wasn’t yet forgiven, she sighed.

“The award is for all those Indian women who want to explore their dreams, individuality, strengths, hopes and happiness. I am thankful for all those who helped me to attain my dreams.” She told them

“However there is one question I want to raise. We talk about women empowerment, but we become the roadblocks in the success of our own daughters, sisters and wives. How can India explore her women’s strengths if we don’t even allow them their dreams? How can a woman fly if we want to cut her wings before she even tried? I have just one request-please don’t stop your daughters and sisters from exploring their dreams. Who knows their journey, adventure might bring India a new pride? I thank you all for inviting me here.”

A single applause broke out in the crowd. She looked towards the sound and was dumbfounded on looking her father. He was the one applauding hard, tears running down his cheeks. She ran towards him, and he hugged her.

“I am sorry I didn’t support you when I should have.” He told her.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” She cried as she hugged him. All the pains and insecurities of non-acceptance by her father melted away in her tears. “I was successful but my success wasn’t complete, papa. But now it is. I doubt any other person on this earth is as happy as I am today.”

“There is.” He told her, “I am the happiest and the proudest person right now. I am so sorry I didn’t allow your aspirations, your dreams. That picture you took shook me to the core. While all others saw the predator’s smug look in that jaguar, I saw the determination and strength of my daughter. I may be naïve, dear but I know the danger you took for that picture.”

“We were prepared, papa. It was a calculated risk.” She informed him, suddenly wary of another lecture coming from him.

“Let me finish.” Her father reprimanded her, “I know it was dangerous but it was also necessary. If you hadn’t taken that danger, you wouldn’t have made India proud. I am proud to be your father. I won’t stop you from taking such dangers in the future, but I will definitely feel better if you call us as soon as you are done. Just so we don’t worry.”

“Thanks papa.” The tears fell more freely now.

“You should thank your mother. She was the one to give you wings; I was the one who tried to clip them.”

“She really is an extra-ordinary woman.”

“She is.” Her father agreed, “So we all are going to the jungle tomorrow. Your uncles, brother and I. Do you want to accompany us? I know it isn’t up to your level of danger but still I believe you can get plenty of good pictures there.”

“Of course I will.” The child in her from years back who yearned to accompany his father on such a hunting trip danced in glee.

Finally, she found what she had always sought- success along with happiness with her family. Her adventure, her dream, her journey all came to a perfect end.

By Neha Agrawal