Alone and Intoxicated

By Kalpana Manimohan

empty bed again. second night this week.

week after week where do you go. 

go to whatever keeps your company.

company that is not mine, every night. 

night comes and lying in bed i wait.

wait for the familiar ding of the phone. 

phone shows you are online.

online means texting someone.

someone who is just not me. 

me you left to fend the night demons alone.

alone it gets suffocating so I leave.

leave the haunting house to drink.

drink god’s bitter sweet liquid. 

liquid not clear or white, but red as blood. 

blood to my brain doesn’t drain it empty.

empty of your memories and my desire

desire infinity but hollow in my ribs not fill.

fill it up with your love i beg.

beg for more of the intoxicating nectar. 

nectar consumed is not adequate. 

adequate when blood is bled out in tears.

tears not salty but trickling acidic wine.

wine seeping through needles in my arms. 

arms void of your warm frame.

frame my likeness, keep in your pocket.

pocket that hears your beating heart.

heart on which my picture will lie.

lie next to you i could not do.

do not deny my photo of it too. 

By Kalpana Manimohan