Accursed Attachment

By Avirit Aarne Choudhury

I get weary waiting for you, to finally look back into my eyes.

If it meant waiting, my bones would crumble for our old ties. 

Oh where did I go wrong, where did I lose my mind?

Perhaps when I saw you were no longer mine, 

Perhaps when I felt in your lingering touch that you longer considered me thine,

Or perhaps when through a tear filled gaze;

Our love was little but a haze. 

You told me that our love would not remain; 

And only then did I realize I had held on in vain. 

And then, I knew. Wait and hurt you, I could no longer. 

I had to depart, even as my wretched heart told me to persist, 

For in my overdue stay, had I hurt her; whom my soul had kissed. 

All I lived for was your soul and affection, 

Which was something sacred and worthy of devotion. 

I curse those treacherous words I uttered,

Those pointless and wounding actions I committed. 

Perhaps one day when you look back at this fool, 

You'll be able to realize his intent. 

What his endeavors with you were, what he hoped for you.

Till then, all I can do is beg.

Hold all the hatred you want, all the bitterness;

Yet do not consider your actions as weakness.

My transgressions, my blasphemy against sacred affection, 

My errors of judgement, my pathetic hubris, my rejection of your perfection.

Yet if it meant defying my fate for you again,

God himself will be a witness to all the rivers I would part,

All the mountains I would split. 

Yet at the end, those are but words. 

Words which despite their grandeur hold naught but unfulfilled promises.

Words that in-spite of intent, reflect not on actions but bravado and falsities. 

And I am but a fool who utters these words, 

A fool who completes nothing yet claims the world.

I am the man who had the honor of your acceptance,

And I am the man who undid his reason of existence.

By Avirit Aarne Choudhury